Cupid's Arrow Misfired

For most women, when you're alone and Valentine's Day hits, it's a sad and gloomy time. You run to the grocery store to stock up on Ben and Jerry's ice cream to wash down all the self loathing and feelings of self pity. You spend the whole day and night wishing and hoping that the next Valentine's Day you'll have a love of your own to share it with. Well ladies, be careful what you wish for and be really specific in your wishes.

There are many memories from childhood to the present which took the luster out of Valentine's Day. One such memory happened in the fourth grade. I was in "love" with the most handsome kid in school Ryan. I would never speak to him, just stare from a distance with all the other shy girls. He was such a nice boy, never did he make any of us feel bad for our obvious crushes. He probably liked the attention. Well, it was nearing Valentine's Day and I got a spark of bravery from somewhere, most likely Cupid's arrow steering me to do something foolish. So, I thought It would be great to make him a Valentine with some candy hearts and write, "From your secret admirer," as the signature. I was hoping he'd look around the room after finding the Valentine and our eyes would meet and we'd share our pudding snacks at lunch from that day on, forever and ever... So heart day arrived and all day I was trying to find a good time to run the Valentine to Ryan's desk and get away without him seeing me. No luck all day, then finally after lunch, he wasn't at his desk straight away. I ran the Valentine over and got back in my seat. He came in and saw the card and ate some of the candies. Then, he said, "Who gave this to me?" and then practically the entire class answered back, "Jennifer!" He was clearly not impressed and that afternoon I saw him put the Valentine I had spent so much time on, in the trash!

Later in life, well a little later, in sixth grade, I wished for a Valentine and should have been a wee bit more specific. I was joking around with some of my girlfriends and said, " I wish for someone to think I'm a sexy bee-ach!" and well I found a boy named Matt who wanted to be my boyfriend. He was seemingly sweet and we would sit at lunch together everyday. Then, one day at the library he actually called me a "biach," but not in the good way. I chose a book he wanted to check out too and wouldn't let him have it instead. Yes, I was selfish, but there was no need for choice words and so that ended that. Yes our "relationship" lasted a complete three days and I ended up alone on Valentine's Day again.

Another humiliating Valentine's Day was when I was in high school. To raise money for the Associated Student Body, they would have candy grams available for purchase. It was a little card with a candy, cookie, or flower attached depending on what you wanted to spend. Well never did I believe I would get such a token of someone's affection once the day rolled around, but I did. Someone came to bring me a rose with a message that read, "Happy Valentine's to the most beautiful girl in the world. Love, John B." I was shocked, he was a pretty popular guy and never had given me an inkling that he liked me. Well, he didn't. By the time I got out to break to look for him, someone from ASB came over to me all apologetic that they had given the Valentine to the wrong Jennifer M. I was so embarrassed because I was bragging to my friends and there was no such connection being made. Such a blow to the ego and such a disappointment.

My last tale of a Valentine's Day let down was in college. I was an Admissions Clerk and I would see every student at some point during the year. It was a fun and social job and I saw my share of cuties. So, this one year, Lovers Day was near and I was feeling lonely. I kept thinking that maybe, just maybe I'd meet someone at my counter who would sweep me off my feet and change my life as I knew it. So one day when I was away somebody had come in asking for me. My friend who worked different hours then me told me that she overheard a guy come ask one of the gals at the counter where I was and that he wanted to know what hours I would be working on Valentine's Day. So, she and I were both like, "ooooh, I wonder who he is." and I was like, "Maybe he's my prince charming!" So, the few days past and there I was working on Valentine's Day. Then, at my counter a red rose was placed and as I looked up, it was super hard not to just bust out laughing. It was an older man, at least 35 or so and I recognized him. Took a while for me to place him and then Bam - I realized he was my waiter once at Denny's and occasionally I saw him on the bus. He didn't speak very good English and all I could make out was, "You're so Beautiful." I had to let him down and point out the obvious age difference. And let's just say my future bus rides were very, very awkward.

No ladies, Cupid doesn't always get it right. Be specific in your wishes and don't sit and stew in self pity. Go out with with your single girlfriends or girlfriends whose boyfriends happen to be Nascar fans since the Nascar Race is on Valentine's Day this year. Just have faith you'll find your prince. Also, don't be afraid to kiss some frogs, sometimes they lead you right to the love of your life. Have faith and Happy Valentine's Day!