Cursing and Profanity in Children: That Kid Said a Bad Word!
Help children understand that words themselves are not "bad" but using words to upset another is a bad choice. For this reason one child telling another "you're a crybaby" may actually be a worse offense than letting slip a so-called "four letter word" when a block tower falls. Look at the intent of the speaker. Sometimes the intent is to see what the grown-ups will do or to see how peers will react. Unless there is intent to be disrespectful, or a chronic use of profanity, it's often best to ignore, thus robbing the word of its power.
There are many reasons children use profanity. Your preschooler is beginning to understand cognitively that words are made of sounds, which is an important pre-reading skill. So he may make up many nonsense words of rhyming syllables or silly compound words. These invented words may mimic adult profanity. Possibly they hear certain words in the media or from others around them which they want to "try out" for effect. There are also nearly always a few children this age who have trouble pronouncing certain sounds making their remarks sound like a swear word.
If you hear your child using a word or phrase that someone may consider offensive, ask the child to please use good manners by choosing different words. Also, instruct them that if they hear a word or phrase that you have taught them is wrong to use, they should ask the person speaking not to say that around them. Focus on teaching a courteous way to interact with others.
If your family sets strict standards on what children may say, make it clear to your children that they have a right to ask people whose language bothers them to stop using those words or phrases. If you are more relaxed in your home about language, help your child to realize that stricter standards may apply in other places. Even very young children can learn that home rules and "away from home" rules are different. By allowing children to handle many of these situations on their own, you empower them to become more socially fluent.
Published by Margaret Christy
I am a mom, teacher, friend and child of God. I explore the unique and familiar in life and on-line. Write/perform poetry. Train childcare providers. Teach Sunday school. Own small face-painting business... View profile
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11 Comments
Post a CommentMy daughter is 34 years old and has four children. She uses the F word constantly in front of her children. My husband tried to tell her that she shouldn't be using this kind of language in front of her kids and she blew up at him and told him she would talk to her kids any F-ing way she wants. She uses the F word to let them know she is angry with them. My oldest daughter will not allow her kids to go over to her house and my youngest daughter is very upset with her saying that she doesn't think that she is good enough for her kids. She no longer speaks to us or my oldest daughter. But is very verbaly abusive to her own children. There is no talking to her. She is one of these people who believe she is always right. She said you need to talk to your kids like an adult and then they will have no problems in life latter on because then they will know what the world is really like. We never allowed any cursing in our household when she was growing up, so where she gets it from I don't kn
Teacher > Look up Troll.
Bob > Nice trolling! :) They made it too easy for ya.
Bob learn to spell first, then post your remarks. This is an important issue and we do need to set some sort of limit and educate children on the meaning of the word and model appropriate use of words. Remember "monkey see monkey do" Bob, are you the monkey a child will learn from or are you the responsible guy that will teach a child or your child proper language.... I know, I know....fuck you.....ya, ya ya. No, thank you, I wouldn't be in the same bed with you if hell froze over.
who are u to compain amanda? u need to chill
hi bob
Fuck you to
Dude!
you made some good points in this article
This is true. I do have to agree though with it. Parents should set the bar on language.
This is right on. I strongly agree that parents, and not societal norms, should set the bar on language.