Cutting the Umbilical Cord: A Ceremony or Just a Medical Decision?

I was ecstatic when my mother got to cut the cord in the delivery room for my first daughter. It was such an honor that my mother, my mommy, got to do this. And she still glows when she talks about it. She got to be a major part of her grand daughter's birth, and has not done that for anyone else, ever. Wow.

When I was getting ready to deliver my second baby, I was so excited that her daddy was going to cut the cord, and we would all share that bonding experience, as a family. I had a birth plan, and I wanted the baby placed on my abdomen, just like my first one, and then her daddy would cut the cord. But there were complications and the doctor cut the cord and the baby had to be examined immediately.

For such a long time, I was disappointed. I really wanted to share that experience with him. I wanted HIM to do the final separation between my body and the tiny creature that we created together. I felt robbed, cheated out of this great experience. I even cried over it.

So, why did this matter to me so much? Are we less of a family? Do we not have deep love and affection for each other? Would he think that this delivery was not a bonding experience? None of these things seemed to be affected. Just me. I was sad.

Many years ago, nobody was even allowed to be in the room when a woman had a child. I heard my mother talk about it, and although she always made giving birth sound beautiful and emotional, the surroundings seemed cold. To be in a room with other women, hearing each other's screams, nobody there to help you.

That is a very different scenario than today's births. Hospitals nowadays have birthing suites, hot tubs, allow as many guests as you want, cameras, mirrors, you name it! As a matter of fact, I was there when a friend of mine had a baby and saw her mother cut the cord. I felt that it was a gift for me to be there.

There are also many home births. Mommies staying at home the entire time they are in labor and then delivering their bundle of joy in their own bed. Popping up here and there are "Lotus Births" where the cord is not cut and the mother allows it to naturally fall off.

OK, I love my babies and want them close forever, but...eww! Women are taking control over their deliveries and every aspect of them. So, we also want to control the umbilical cord? Is that it, we have so little control over everything when we are giving birth that we want to make sure the person WE chose to do this act does it?

Childbirth is a miracle, and a magical experience. In today's society, mothers carry around more guilt than they do money, make up, or anything else. So, maybe we want to share this experience, as a gift to someone else. Then we won't feel guilty about keeping the experience to ourselves. Or we just really want that bonding moment, and nothing else will do.

Whatever your reason is for wanting this, remember, who cuts the umbilical cord is NOT what matters. No matter how many times I tell myself that it does, I know it doesn't. What matters is that you have a healthy baby and a happy family. I do, and I am happy. It took a long time for me to stop feeling so cheated, but when I did, I saw the bigger picture. My only regret is that it took so long for me to get there.