Dad Doesn't Have to Share Your Genes

My real father left when I was 2 days old. He claimed that he couldn't handle the responsibility and he was disappointed that I wasn't a boy. Although my mother married after that desperately trying to give me the kind of home she though I deserved, she ended up raising me without a dad.

When I was 26 yeas old with children of my own and newly divorced, my mother went on a blind date that was set up by a mutual friend. The date was none other than a dinner at Ducks Unlimited. This was the beginning of many surprises, he took her hunting, helped her to get scuba certified and then he popped the question. We were all thrilled!

At this point in time, I decided that I was already raised and calling him Dad was just a fun thing to do. As time went on I ended up in some poor relationships, and needing to move rather quickly, Paul never questioned anything, he just helped me pack up my stuff, hired movers, laborers and whatever else I needed, including moving in to their home with my children until I could get back on my feet. He was always there for me no matter what. I have since discovered that I am ill and will need to have surgery at Stanford Hospital in California. My dad is going to down with me to meet with the surgeon to ask questions and make sure that we know all there is to know about the procedure. He doesn't have to, he wants to. Not only is he a caring Dad, he is a wonderful grandfather. I can always count on him to run to the school to pick up sick children, bring them things they forget, find them when I am panicked that they are lost. He takes it all in stride and mounts his search and rescue mission, never faltering.

I am remarried now to a wonderful man who has taken this same stance with my sons. They were 6 and 8 at the time that we started seeing each other. Kevin and I went to high school together and we had started to date back then, but it did not work out. We ran into each other picking up our kids from summer camp. Choosing to take on the challenge of raising someone else's children is not an easy one, we have had our rough times but over the past few years we have settled into the family life that I thought I would never have. Kevin is big into drag racing and now the the boys and his youngest daughter race too, he does all the things that a father would do for his sons, he teaches them respect, pushes them to excel in school and does recreational activities with them, not only the racing, but bowling, golf, taking us all to Six Flags or the movies, sometimes just lounging on the couch watching movies, teasing with them back and forth. Most of the time he gets bigger hugs from them than I do! And this is OK with me, because they have a bond.

Now Paul and Kevin and our family spend weekends at the race track together. The men have a routine going with the race cars and the kids, while my mother and I take care of the newest son in our family. We camp out and Kevin and Paul fall into the father and grandfather roles as if it was that way from the beginning. We have a very close family unit and life is sweet.

I think that had I sketched the perfect father on a piece of paper and wrote down all of the attributes and standards for what I feel a father should be, that I couldn't have made a better father than these two men have turned out to be. I am so grateful that they are in my life and that they are a part of my children's lives. i hope that my sons will follow in their footsteps.

So Dad and Kevin, Happy Father's Day to you both, God has truly blessed our family.