Daddy's Girls

In a hot, crowded waiting room of an OB/GYN's office, you hear some of the most interesting conversations. When pregnant with my third child, I pretended to read a magazine while just such gab flowed over my head.

"How's it goin', John," a beautiful woman beside me shouted to the front of the room.

"Survivin'" said John slouching over the counter. "Here for a check up."

"You know what it is?" the woman shouted again.

"Don't want to know," said John. "Be nice if it's a boy this time. After five girls, it'd be nice to be able to relate to at least one of my kids."

Guess what, Daddies? Girls need their Daddies just as much as they need their Mommies--just in different ways. Daddies have a lot to offer their girls...so very much. After spending the last four and a half years watching Steve with our two girls (Jaimie, almost 5, and Jordhan, almost 3), and after several conversations with him, I have learned a lot about the special relationship between Daddies and daughters:

(1) Big strong arms: It seems when little ones are sad or need a boo-boo kissed, the first person they run to is Mama. The most touching thing I've seen is when Jordhan falls down or is in the throws of sibling rivalry, she'll run right up to her Daddy, bury her face in his thighs and wrap her tiny arms around them. Steve then picks her tiny frame up in his big arms and gives her his biggest Daddy hug. As her wails turn to sniffs, he rocks her and rubs her back whispering, "It's ok, sweetie. Daddy's here." Awwwwwww.
Jaimie's sensory issues make it difficult for Steve to give affection the same way. But he always offers his hugs and never lets a day go by without telling her he loves her.

(2) R-E-S-P-E-C-T: The first people to teach children about respect--both for themselves and for others--is their parents. Both parents teach the importance of manners (ok...mostly Mommies), saying "please" and "thank you" and the other general things that teach respect for others. But Daddies have a special form of self-respect to teach their little girls: how a guy should treat her. Daddies have an inside scoop for their little girls as they enter the dating arena--as I discuss with the next two points. And Daddies, they hear you, believe me. It may not seem like it at the time, but your voice is what she'll hear in her head when the guy she thinks she loves is treating her like dirt.

(3) How A Guy Should Treat Her: A long time ago, I was told girls learn how she should be treated by the relationship she has with her father. I'm not sure how much credit to give this statement but there's a very strong point here. My grandfather, the father in my life, was the kindest, most gentle man I ever knew. No matter how awful the world treated me, my grandfather gave me a big bear hug and said things to me like, "Don't fret, Dumplin'. You are a special girl. You just need to see it." His words--his special treatment of me-- made me demand the same treatment in my other relationships with men. We can't always avoid "Mr. Wrong" but our Daddy's can help us believe there is a "Mr. Right."

(4) What Guys Are Really Like: The most wonderful thing I heard was in an interview with Bruce Willis, who has three girls of his own. The interviewer asked Bruce what advice he gives his daughters and Bruce answered with a smile, "The best advice I give my girls is what guys are really like. They are all old enough to go out dating now and they need to know what to look for. Guys aren't all going out with a girl because they have lots in common. I tell my girls what guys are thinking, what they really want and what's going on in their minds. They all roll their eyes at me but they're a lot pickier about who they go out with." I'm sure it doesn't hurt to have a Daddy like Bruce Willis who'll have to okay the poor guy who gets brought home to meet him. But his advice is wonderful. Who better to tell girls what guys are really like than a guy who used to be "one of those guys?"

(5) Be All You Can Be: Mommies are supposed to tell us we can do anything we want to and that we'll be good at anything we set our minds to. Mommies are in our corners--we grow up knowing and feeling this because they're usually there 24/7. But I remember how awesome it felt when my grandfather sat down with me and told me it didn't matter what I chose to be--whether a president of a company or a garbage collector--as long as I was the best president or garbage collector he knew I could be. It was from this strength I drew upon during exams at school, interviews for jobs and starting up my own business. It's not that his words meant more to me than my mother's did, Men just don't usually express themselves in words so when they do, it just feels different--like he's not just saying things to make you feel good. It also hurt more if Grandpa ever said "I'm disappointed in you."

(6) Quality not Quantity: This isn't exclusive to Daddies because there are also a lot of working Moms out there who can't spend as much time with their kids as they'd like to. My Dad and step-Mom both worked full time in the military and had a nanny to be with my brother, Ryan and my sister, Kahla, every weekday. My parents only had about three hours every night to spend with their kids before they have to go to bed. But they hung out in the kitchen while we made dinner; did crafty things after dinner or went for walks--anything where they spent time together as a family. I used to tell my step-Mom it wasn't how much time she spent with the kids that counted; it was what they did together when they were together that counted. To this day, the kids still talk about what they all did together--not the amount of time they didn't have with my parents. That says a lot.

So, Daddies are very special to their little girls. When watching Steve playing with our girls, my heart aches sometimes. Who gets to see all their "firsts?" Me. Who dries their tears when they're upset or calms them when they're scared? Me. Who do they call for in the middle of the night whenever they feel sick or scared? Me. But that's only because I'm here with them all day everyday.

But who are they so excited to see when they hear the key in the lock at five? Daddy. Who acts goofy and makes them laugh until they get the hiccups? Daddy. Who's strong enough to toss them around and spin them until everyone is dizzy? Daddy. And who will always try to protect them from getting hurt, make sure boys are thoroughly screened before being allowed to be in their presence, be an undercover behind-the-scenes bodyguard and the quietest, but strongest, supporter of everything they do? Daddy.

So, don't worry, Daddies. They know you're therethey hear what you say andmost importantly, they love you.

You will always reside in my heart's most sacred place - safe
from all time and all distance. There you will remain. The
faith you've had in me made me and my faith so much
stronger. For the blessings you've brought me and the
lessons you've taught me; oh, Mary full of grace, blessed
the love between daddies and daughters. Bless the angels
that brought you and the love between daddies and
daughters.