Dads, You Cannot "Babysit" Your Own Children

Tyler Foster, Yahoo! Contributor Network
May 4, 2007 "Share your voice on Yahoo! websites. Start Here."

Most males are biologically equipped to father children. However, being biologically equipped to reproduce and being equipped to be a great dad are two different things. Too many males out there (I refuse to refer to them as men) are letting their wives, girlfriends or significant others raise their kids solo. They feel the "child-raising" duties should be left to the mother while they go out and "earn a living." This ridiculous line of thinking is prevalent in households with full-time moms. Unappreciative husbands go about their day expecting their wives to handle everything inside the house, including raising their children.

Now, I don't pretend to be an expert on child-raising. My wife and I have two kids, and over the last couple years I've coached a couple dozen kids in youth soccer. There is one universal truth these experiences have taught me: kids need their dads. My former brother-in-law (emphasis on "former") remarked to me one time that his wife was going out with a friend and he was going to have to "baby-sit" his son. This concept was foreign to me. How can one baby-sit their own child? If he meant taking care of the child, feeding him dinner, bathing him and putting him safely to bed...well, that's called PARENTING when done for one of your own. Websters defines the term "baby-sit" as taking "charge of a child while the parents are temporarily away." It should not be used by dads to describe their duties on a "girls night out." After that conversation I've been surprised to hear how many guys use that term. If someone asks me if I am babysitting tonight, I always correct them by responding, "No, I am parenting." They might think it is just semantics, but it is much more than that. It is a way of thinking that unfortunately too many males just don't practice.

I am very close to both my kids. We have a few rituals that only their daddy can perform. When my daughter moved to a toddler bed I started something called "Two for the Money." Several years later, my daughter still asks me to do it before lights out. I pick her up in my arms and swing from side to side singing, "One for the money...Two for the show...Three to get ready...and four to go!" We spin around and I place her gently back in to bed and tuck the covers around her. It is usually the highlight of the day for both of us.

My son has figured out that his dad, all 6'3" of him, closely resembles a Jungle Gym. He climbs on my shoulders, he wraps himself around my legs while I drag him around the house, and he loves to swing from my arms like Curious George. I even recently took up aerial acrobatics with the kids - jumping on their trampoline. You haven't lived until you've seen a grown man attempt a front flip on an enclosed trampoline. Of course, the more I mess up the harder the kids laugh at their dad. I eventually collapse and the kids pile on while we look up at the sky. Wispy clouds slowly move across our view. A light breeze cools us down. My son points out an airplane, my daughter a cloud shaped like an alligator. As we huddle there together I can't help but think how wonderful it is being a dad!

Published by Tyler Foster

I am a 30 year old husband and father of two working in software development for money, but writing for fulfillment. View profile

Dads, You Cannot "Babysit" Your Own Children

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