Please, please, please be good. No in all seriousness, PLEASE be good. Do not be all hype! Do not be another Japanese import pitcher that is gone from the league in less than three years! And Dear God, do not make me regret being this anticipated over a player I have never seen before!
Now that I have finished being demanding I will tell you why you have to be great for the Sox. It is not that I think you will not be good, I personally think you will be, but it is because you are going to have to be to survive Boston. That 51.1 million dollars that the Red Sox decided was justified just to speak to you then you better be able to produce. I do not if you have heard or not, but Bostonians take their baseball pretty seriously. There will be enormous pressure on you to be great by the time you make your first start.
There are a few things going for you right now. You have the look Dice-K of a star. You like Ichiro, you have a mo-hawk and a certain swagger to you. You look like a Japanese Rolling Stone. On top of that, you have already gave the States a look on how dominant you can be on a big stage. Your performance in the World Baseball Classic was magnificent to say the least. You are going to need it because come your first showdown in the Bronx versus your former Japanese foe Hideki Matsui pressure and anticipation will be at an all time high.
So those are the things going for you, here are the horrors going against you. Your Japanese pitching fraternity has not exactly mastered the bats over here. There have been a few pitchers from your country who has found success in the states. Names like Nomo and Sasaki have been able to come to the states and find their way to the All Star game. If you do not eclipse these players career you will be considered a dud. There are also names that haunt Red Sox fans everywhere. Names like Yoshii, Mac Suzuki, and the "fat toad" himself, Hideki Irabu. If your career even resembles these names then Theo is going to get fired.
Another thing going against you, is that you play in Boston. This is not the most patient sports town. You also involved with the biggest rivalry in all of sports. The Cold War arms race in baseball is settled in the AL East. There are the Sox and the Yankees and the rest of the league. The two evil empires seem to always be in the thick of things all year which means every game in analyzed from day one. Dice-K you better be able to handle that lineup or you will be shipped back to Tokyo. You were arguably the most sought after gun for hire this off season and for the first time since I can remember Boston was able to out-bid Steinbrenner. How interesting will it be to see Dice-K take on Kei Igawa with a possible division title on the line.
The last thing that you should worry about, if you are not scared enough, is the hype that is being placed upon you. You are suppose to be able to take the hold on the Pitching Staff's reigns when Schilling finally decides to step down from the role. You will have some young help in Beckett, Papelbon, and Lester. But the Sox are depending on your polish and skill level to be able to elevate that staff to an elite level. Hype does not kill all players. Look at Lebron, Peyton Manning, and Ichiro. You can also look what hype did to Ryan Leaf, Rick Ankiel, and once again Irabu.
Do not be worried Dice, you have all the makings to be a star. You have the look and better yet you have the talent. Your stuff is on a world class level. If you succeed you will make Fenway shake like Pedro did. There will Japan flags being flown throughout the stadium and sushi bars all around the stadium, where a California roll will cost $15. If you do happen to suck right away, I would delay learning English. That way, you will not know what those nasty callers are saying about you on WEEI.
Sincerely,
Your Biggest Fan
Published by Seaver Spahn
I am the greatest thing that ever happened to me. I do not feel that I can change the world but I know that my words have jagged edges sometimes. The rest can be tossed into the furnace with the other crap... View profile
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