Damages and Effects Caused by Yelling at Your Children
The Truth About Yelling at Your Kids
Either way, whether those pesky little behaviors are universal or not...they can and do still grate at our nerves. Then there are the more serious child behaviors that are not universal, but rather learned. Learned behaviors include tattle tailing, lying, name calling, and the like. These behaviors can be very frustrating for parents to deal with.
That's the thing. Parents have to deal with behaviors. That's where the subject of yelling comes in. Yelling is one way that many parents deal with unacceptable child behaviors. They use yelling like it's a form of discipline. A child talks back and the parents yells at them telling them "Don't you talk back to me", or a child hits a sibling and the parents yells "Don't you hit your sibling", thinking that their yelling will make the child stop. Does it make it stop? Sometimes. A child who is yelled at once in a blue moon will stop dead in their tracks when yelled at. A child who is yelled at on a daily basis will learn to ignore their parents yelling. Just because the child who is never yelled at stops the behavior that does not mean that yelling is an effective form of discipline. Yelling is not an acceptable form of discipline because it is not discipline. Yelling falls under the category of punishment. Why? Read on.
Discipline is calm, and gentle. Discipline has a nurturing tone of voice. Discipline teaches through communication. When a parent disciplines a child for acting unacceptably they are teaching their child why the behavior is unacceptable, not just that it is. A child who is disciplined is never yelled at. They are not scolded or reprimanded. They are not called names or insulted. They are not made to feel shamed or belittled. Yelling makes children feel all of those things. Yelling makes good kids feel like bad kids. A child who is disciplined is talked to and with, not ever at.
Yelling at your kids can both scare and scar them. The long-term effects of yelling include poor self image and esteem, lack of self control, impulsiveness, anger and temperament issues, lack of patience, and mental childhood issues. Also, parents who yell at their children often will most likely have children that yell at their children. If you yell at your children a lot they will learn to yell back at you. Also, they will never learn to stop acting unacceptably because they have been yelled at rather than talked to and taught.
The point of this article is to help you to realize that there is another way other than yelling. I'd like for you, my reader and fellow parent, to understand the damage to children that can be caused by parental yelling. Were you yelled at as a child? If you yourself are a yeller that's why. Take a moment though to realize how it feels. Yelling is actually a habit. A bad habit. Break the habit now.
Published by Sincerity Anna
I am a wife, mother to five, and a full-time freelance writer. View profile
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18 Comments
Post a CommentI am a yelling parent and I'm neither proud nor happy . I would like say sorry to my kids and also to kids I don't know and have written the comments above...sorry. It's so difficult to be a parent , so hard. But I am aware it is not right.
Im a teacher of children who've (many of them) been yelled at and humiliated by parents. It's sad and sure makes teaching these hurt kids more challenging. Parents really are more influencial than teachers. It's hard for a teacher to break through the walls of broken confidence. My own 4 year old son has his own "off days" when he may yell for help... i try to stay cool and say "I will when you stop yelling" and walk away. He comes around and after a good night's sleep my sweet boy is back. I think parents need to always ask themselves if their child is hungry, tired, or upset before getting to the point of yelling. I also believe that at times when a child tries to harm another (hopefully not often) a parent can yell to "sit out" for a cool down until talking with the child.
ever since i was little, i wasnt only yelled at but beaten like literally. Does that add to this topic?
Common sense article. No real data to be garnered here. Respectfully, you give more detailed information when you "talk" to your children.
my father keeps yelling at me...it shuts me down......ever since i was little i automaticly cry when i am yelled at...yelling is a form of abuse- i have over-protective parents who only yell
i tell them to do stuff don't listen call us mean hit us i just dont't know whats wrong like really i don't know why and how sorry for my kids.
my children are so bad i don't know what to do help. please im sorry my children are bad mean
I was spanked and yelled at (still yelled at). I got to the point where I thought I was the problem and asked God to just kill me (I was five). As for the "spare the rod, spoil the child," that is crap, bring up that verse why not bring up the others. Besides you're supposed to follow Jesus I don't think he hit anyone, and what about "Those who live by the sword die by the sword"? Those who are violent will be treated with violence...and there's "treat others as you want to be treated."
I try not yell at animals or kids or anyone, (I only raise my voice against adults who are being abusive or mean). Any person responds to kindness and love, if your kids does something bad talk to them, give them a moral a story, like how people give each other advice. Don't degrade children, into this bad attitude or whatever they want to call it "acting like children", it's present in adults too, just no one knows how to handle them too well. But anyway, yelling doesn't work, just be nice, understan
surajlock@yahoo.co.in
plz contact me i need help on it
(i m serious)plzzz
Jessica, it's not your fault. Parents can be under a lot of stress sometimes and not know how to deal with it. Talk to her about how you feel. Ask her if she needs help around the house. Don't yell back or things will get worse. You don't deserve to be yelled at, or sworn at, and if it continues after you talk with her then talk to your school counseler.