Dan Tran, Novaffl's Former GM of the PIGS, Opines on "back-turners"

Greetings, Novaffl elites, Madcap, known for his articles has decided to throw his hat in for post-season journalist honors. In the below interview, Madcap expertly weaves a slew of questions towards the evasive Dan Tran on the future of the Novaffl Pig franchise -- tactfully steering clear of Dan's combined season I (Merks) and III (Pigs) cumulative record of 0-28. The Charlie Brown franchise owner has temporarily handed off the Pigs to Brad, but the Novaffl populace wants to know what he really thinks:

Note, the above picture was edited to keep his identity known only to the Novaffl society.

me: Sup Danny

Dan: ack, u're gonna quote me on a weird posterboard

me: whyis that

Dan: cause every time you want to cause problems, I see you quoting from a chat

me: Allright Dan, lets have an impromtu interview, no holds barred.

Dan: ack, in writing? that's scary

me: its time to get your feelings out

Dan: cringe do we really have to hold hands though? [Dan with another gay joke, shows why he is a nemesis of rival asians]

me: Dan, what are your plans for your team's future in Novaffl?

Dan: Brad is taking over as gm I think he'll do a great job. I'm out of the country for 12 months

me: Can you quickly explain who Brad is, what he looks like

Dan: Brad, our QB He is a WR turned QB because he has a gifted arm.

me: The guy with the spikey hair who is a shitty Mod, but a good QB?

Dan: i wouldn't call him a good qb yet, he's got a great arm -- he's not good at his reads and runs yet

me: Was he the guy who tried to co-mod with you? in the Steel Rain Sparta game

Dan: nonot in the game where you were crying -- that's ben

me: Where is the email list for your team, so I can keep them informed

Dan: bleh, I'll forward you the mailing list later. [Madcap has this but will not reveal to his many fans]

me: I see Next, What is your opinion of Novaffl

Dan: Great concept...a bunch of guys getting together to play football, adding a level of competition to make it more meaningful

me: Allright thats the good stuff. Tell me the bad shit

Dan: 1. get an official field 2. grow up, no fights, threats, understand it's a game, we play for fun at a competitive leve, we don't compete to make money

me: What do you think of the trades that went on this season and do you feel your team got slighted?

Dan: There are two issues there. One is goes to the core purpose of the league...the other is the execution of the core principal

Purpose to make a competitive league: Can't have that if people keep wanting to jump ships. takes some of the fun from the competitive level if you can't commit for 9 weeks

me: On a more personal level on how your team was affected, elaborate there please.

Dan: My team was a free agent team, we didn't give a damn who didn't want to play with us, we just cared about who showed up on our side of the ball

me: Tell me about Sammy and what he contributed.

[Sammy was a player cut from Sparta--but allowed to save face via Ali, trading Sam for Billy, Ali knew that Sam wasn't committed and was more of a liability by fasting without water for a few months. The thing is, he's a great player but refused to come to practice]

Dan: He played one game with us and was helpful at receiver and on defense. He filled in at line on occasions during the game

he left after the first game because our 2nd one was 5 hours later

me: Do you think Ali, purposely traded you a DuD player?

Dan: i don't really care--didn't matter to me

me: Do you think Madcap screwed you over, offering Akeem, then redacting the offer before you accepted because he knew Akeem wouldn't play for the Pigs?

Dan: I figured he was [Dan figured Sammy was a dud and engaged in verbal attacks on ALi], but giving sammy a chance for more playing time was worth the chance since we want every one to get to play -- sitting in a league like ours is lame -- again, I think akeem screwed the 300's not the pigs

me: Next question

Dan: sure akeem would have helped us, but if he didn't want to play w/us, we don't get a damn about him :)

me: Do you think your management decisions were shoddy at best, especially when you put in crappy Krishna over and over again at the expense of your team--considering Krishna dropped all kinds of balls? [Krishna was the East Indian player who never played football before. Again Mr. Ali a potent negotiator suckered Dan Tran into taking a Dud, and of course Madcap couched the charitable giving of Krishna to the Pigs as simple philanthropy]

Dan: Rofl, that's a loaded and inaccurate question

me: Cmon Dan, the people want to know

Dan: 1-letting people play in our league is not a bad thing. 2. if I had other players on the sidelines, i would have used them

3. being short on players meant we needed him to play wr or OL...neither suits him well he did well on DL for us those games

me: Do you feel Madcap's insanely strategical psychological strategies, tricked you into accepting the worse player in Novaffl---Krishna?

Dan: no, we wanted krishna because playing w/5 or 6 players was worse even at that he didn't make many games

me: Will krishna be given an invite for Season 4, from the new GM Brad?

Dan: i wouldn't recommend it [There you have it folks, the PIGS first CUT ever---you saw it here]

me: Next question

Dan: you need help typing? [Dan Tran trying futilely to change the subject to softer ground, Madcap a seasoned interrogator cackles at such simple ploys]

me: Do you think Tigercut let the team down, with a lassiez faire approach to football---taking Saturdays off when he agreed with Jason Gentili to be a co-GM, and ultimately posting a soliloquoy on the forum that showed an innate selfishness by not contributing anything to the league, --- yet demanding a pickup group only for him? [Joe Tigercut has since retired because pickup did not appear magically]

Dan: Joe has the right to do what he enjoys. I would like to have seen him finish out the season. However, considering how the league screwed us out of a game, can't blame him too much for pulling out the week before. As it turned out the week that he pulled out was when we had that messed up 10am game followed by the last game of the day.

me: Ultimately, it was cjgiant, a No-Namer who suggested a change in schedule, other players jumped on it, do you think if Madcap was present you would have been notified? (he had to go to NY on personal business)

Dan: Ultimately that change should not have occured w/o the approval of the affected teams. The notification is a mute point.

me: Dan, tell the people what you will be doing in South Africa, considering your the cornerstone of the league as the only true "Benevolent Asian" in the world

Dan: [Dan, familiar to conversing in his own world on planet strange, started talking with himself -- a personality feature his friends are well aware of]
A league can't conspire against a team. Changing the schedule the way that was done can easily be abused.

me: Dan as usual, you are on planet uranus, please come to earth and answer the question

Dan: Bleh, Andy is more "benevolent" than I. -- patience danielson

me: Dan, will you be looking for English girls to have casual sex with on the golf course -- in South Africa, instead of focusing on teaching the kids? -- The people are aware of your penchant for crooked teeth caucasions with lofty accents.

Dan: I will teach and model that not all Americans are ignorant evil people like Mr. Bush. I will be focused on getting into the hearts and kminds of the South Africans.

me: Dan will you visit Oprah's school to see what's up there?

Dan: I will learn how they think, figure out their values...

me: and get the real story?

Dan: learn of their wishes and fears --- oprah has a school? --do they hold hands?

had george clowny visited them?

me: Another question. Since your being non-responsive, do you condone people taking rent income under the table to make ends meet? [Madcap, going for the throat vein]

Dan: do you think it's right to make a life time committment and then break that dedication?

me: ok laast question

Dan: they are kicking me out of the buildign i must go, hurry up

me: Dan, do you think Mcgrath is lax in his duties spending too much time on the novaffl web site instead of playing Duck Duck goose with the kids?

As a teacher you would know how much free time teachers have. In the long run we need Mcgrath for his commentary and drama.

Dan: i think he should lock himself in a room w/that schedule and not come out until the end of each season

me: Dan do you think its fair that gym teachers make as much as calculus teachers like yourself?

Dan: I don't teach calc, i teach general mathematics. I will in SA though

me: Please answer the question

Dan: what others make do not matter to me.

me: agreed, but on a level of fairness

Dan: if the system is willing to pay him and he's willing to clock the time, so be it so yes

me: In the end you think its inequitable?

Dan: free economy -- if i don't like it, i can go start my own anti conservative campaign

me: Dan, do you think its allright to meet girls online, via e-harmony or Yahoo personals fly to Vegas for Rawdog activity in a hotel room?

(dont worry I wont reveal any peronal shit in the interview) --this is just for humor [Madcap speaking of criminal incidents that require $500.00 for full revelations]

Dan: no, it's wrong. people should only take women home to their moms and make out with daddy in the house.

me: Allright Thanks, Dan any last remarks

Dan: this unsupervised conduct in hotels is degrading our conservative church values [Dan, a burning liberal quickly throws a blanket of conservativism to fool the Novaffl public]

me: Dan how many hours a week do you play on Defense of the Ancients?

Dan: Thanks for your tolerance and the opportunity to play. 4-8 hours every two days -- too many probly

me: Do you constantly get beat?

Dan: no, when my brother and I play together we rarely lose, tend to be dominations

me: Damn -- Dan what happened when Madcap played 3 versus 1 on Starcraft, with you as his little buddy zerg? [This is in reference to when Madcap used to play Starcraft, a real-time strategy, the best ever made and would consistently beat players 3 verus 1 (Madcap) -- one time Madcap let Dan ally with his Terran force to see him wreck three players at once, while Dan sent a small militia to help

Dan: you should try it. want to see you get good at it -- heh, dan sucks at starcraft, apparently

me: Yes, but what did Madcap do to his three opponents, his brain versus three other brains [Madcap looking for self-serving applause]

Dan: gotta watch the replay to figure that one out -- went by too fast for dan's slow brain --did you know that the internet never lags for me...i think too slowly to notice such things

me: Do you feel jealous that your asian counterparts are better than you in Warcraft and Starcraft forcing you to play low skill, low hand-eye-coordination use map settings games?

Dan: have a great thanksgiving -- the only person i will be jealous of is the one that gets hitch to my woman! -- later

me: later