Dancing with the Stars 2010 TV Theme Week 5: Bristol Palin Monkees Around, Audrina Patridge Meets the Lift Police

Dancing with the Stars 2010 week 5, cleverly dubbed TV theme week, aired Monday evening. Each of the eight remaining celebs, including usual leaderboard topper Jennifer Grey and DWTS bottom dweller slash teen activist Bristol Palin, took on a previously unlearned dance set to a popular television show theme song. So who got it done and who got done in? Here's a peek at the action.

Dancing with the Stars TV theme week got started with a whimper as the judges, via taped commentary and video clips from weeks one through five, selected favorite dances and analyzed each remaining contestant's chances of winning the season 11 Mirrorball Trophy. Total time filler to stretch the show to two hours, but whatever: I know your game, ABC. Just to give a smattering of the critiques since I feel it's warranted, Carrie Ann Inaba noted that R&B singer Brandy needs to develop self-confidence if she wants to reach her full potential, while Len Goodman asked NFL star Kurt Warner to "disguise" his hands and work on his musicality. Bruno Tonioli praised Bristol Palin's musicality and technical ability, but criticized her lack of entertainment skills and encouraged her to release her "caged" minx. Okay. That's enough of that.

After burning 30 minutes with the nonsense above, the celebs and their pro partners, decked out in entertaining apparel, descended into the ballroom to get the real TV theme week action started. Up first to perform were Brandy and partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy, who delivered a Quickstep set to the tune of the Friends theme song I'll Be There For You. The dance was cute, quick and theatrical overall, with tons of movement. Made me tired watching them jet around the ballroom floor!

Len announced "I'm so impressed with that" and praised their "energy" and sassiness. Bruno proclaimed "you found the right formula" and said "you were on it". Carrie Ann noted the pair's "amazing new bond". Brandy and Maksim Chmerkovskiy's Dancing with the Stars TV theme week scores: 9, 9, 9 = 27.

Up next to shake their thangs were actress Florence Henderson and partner Corky Ballas. The duo danced a Foxtrot to what else? The theme of Florence's iconic sitcom The Brady Bunch. Their dance started off well enough, with lots of energy and pizazz. And then it got a little weird, with Flo looking more like a ragdoll than a dancer. But then it got better again. So I guess I'd call it fun, but a little uneven.

Bruno called it "a beautiful Tango" at the beginning, but echoed my notion that she became a herky jerky ragdoll in the middle. Wow! He agreed with me! (I'm not sure if I should be pleased or scared.) Carrie Ann said she liked it, and called her "a sexy senior", but noted that the timing was a little off. Len called "parts" of her Tango good, and noted that it was likely her best dance thus far in the competition. Florence Henderson and Corky Ballas' Dancing with the Stars TV theme week scores: 7, 7, 7 = 21.

The first athlete of the night took to the floor next, as Kurt Warner and partner Anna Trebunskaya tackled a Quickstep set to the tune of Bewitched. I found the beginning pass of their dance to be cute and fun, but fear that Lennie will criticize that it contained too much bandying about. I liked the spring Kurt had in his step, and how they managed to keep the character of their dance alive throughout. It was great overall!

Carrie Ann said "I just saw the spirit of Gene Kelly enter the body of Kurt Warner". Len declared "up you have gone!" and "vast improvement, well done". Bruno said "I like it when you're Bewitched" and praised him for getting all the "little twinkling effects in the music" before deeming the dance "brilliant". Yay! Kurt Warner and Anna Trebunskaya's Dancing with the Stars TV theme week scores: 8, 8, 8 = 24.

Reality star Audrina Patridge and partner Tony Dovolani sexed things up next on Dancing with the Stars week 5 with a Rumba, appropriately set to the theme song from The Hills. I dunno; the dance was a bit cool to me; a little undercooked. It was technically pretty and Audrina looked lovely, but there was something lacking.

Len called it "an excellent Rumba" but noted that she looked "intimidated" at times. Bruno praised her "attention to details and hip action", but told her that the Rumba should "smolder" and hers didn't. Carrie Ann called it "gorgeous from the hips down" and pulled out her lift police badge, must to Tony's protestations. Audrina Patridge and Tony Dovolani's Dancing with the Stars TV theme week scores: 7, 8, 8 = 23.

Dancing with the Stars TV theme week continued with season 11 entertainment guru Kyle Massey and partner Lacey Schwimmer's Charlie's Angels Foxtrot. Okay, so my first observation is 'wow, Lacey has some serious booty.' My second observation is 'wow, Kyle really does look like Isaac from The Love Boat', like Tom Bergeron quipped earlier on in the show. As for the dance, great entertainment value, as always, but not a whole lot of Foxtrot.

Bruno called it "Richard Pryor gone mad" and said "there wasn't enough Foxtrot in it". Carrie Ann disagreed as she called Kyle "a very groovy Charlie" and claimed to like the disco elements. Len moaned "it started bad and it gradually go worse and worse". He continued on, calling it "terrible". Ooooh, ouch. Kyle Massey and Lacey Schwimmer's Dancing with the Stars TV theme week scores: 8, 5, 7 = 20. (Lennie!)

Former Laker Rick Fox and partner Cheryl Burke kept things moving with a Rumba set to the theme tune of the police drama Hill Street Blues. I don't know what to say about this one; it was... nice? I guess? As usual, Cheryl was great, but Rick... not sure.

Carrie Ann gushed "it should be a crime that you could look that good and Rumba so well". (Uh, yeah. She loves herself some Fox.) Len praised his "ease and elegance" but called them "a couple staying together for the sake of the children". Bruno said "in a week, you went from Megatron to mega smooth". Rick Fox and Cheryl Burke's Dancing with the Stars TV theme week scores: 8, 8, 8 = 24. (Overscore alert! Overscore alert!)

DWTS week 5 continued with a Jive set to the tune of The Monkees from birthday girl Bristol Palin and partner Mark Ballas. Oooh, I'm so worried about this one! The pair took to the ballroom floor in full head to toe monkey apparel before stripped down to glitzy 50s wear. Bristol's musicality was atypically off, but it was cute. Definitely not one of the best dances of the night, but still cute.

Len said he "liked the monkey suits" and "I saw a higher degree of performance from you". Bruno said "it wasn't sharp enough" and that she'd lost her technique. Carrie Ann declared "I'm so happy for you" and "I saw a real transformation", but noted that she'd forgotten a lot of the moves. Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas' Dancing with the Stars TV theme week scores: 6, 6, 6 = 18.

Leaderboard toppers Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough finished off the evening with a Married, With Children Foxtrot. And it made for a great show-ender! It was cute and theatrical, and well, sparkly!

Bruno said "it was like watching the perfect housewife" and "it was like being back in time". Carrie Ann called it "good" but "not nearly your best". Len called it "a bit too theatrical" and told her not to "waste 12 bars with a feather duster". Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough's Dancing with the Stars TV theme week scores: 8, 8, 9 = 25.

So that's it for the first ever DWTS TV theme music week. Based solely on leaderboard mumbo jumbo, I'm guessing that Bristol will be in danger come tomorrow night's elimination show. She has the lowest score of the evening, and is consistently criticized by the judges for a lack of personality in her dances. I'd also put Kyle in the bottom bunch, but wonder if perhaps Lennie's harsh '5' paddle will rally his fans to do double time with the voting.

Tune in tomorrow night for the results show. Or you can just check in with me. You know I'll be watching.

Sources

Dancing with the Stars 2010 TV theme week performance show, October 18, 2010, ABC