'Dancing With the Stars' 2011 Week 2 Results: Mike Catherwood Immortalized on the "Mount Rushmore of Terrible Dancers"

"Dancing with the Stars" 2011 bade a fond farewell to its very first celebrity March 29 as the week's results show aired on ABC. But before Psycho Mike Catherwood joined the hallowed First Dismissed Club, Chris Brown performed (and behaved) and the all-new Dancing with the Stars Troupe made their grand debut. Here's a recap.

The big show opened with a shimmy-shakin' number by a crew of neon-clad (okay, well the ladies wore neon) "DWTS" pros, including Lacey Schwimmer, Cheryl Burke, Anna Trebunskaya, Maks Chmerkovskiy, Louis van Amstel and Dmitry Chaplin. They were joined by the "Dancing with the Stars" Troupe, who host Tom Bergeron promised to introduce later in the hour. Cool beans.

And then, to gratify us curious viewers, the first bit of results action aired as Tom called forward the three athletes in the show -- NFL star Hines "twinkle toes" Ward, wrestler Chris "gazelle" Jericho and Sugar Ray "Ninja Turtle" Leonard -- to learn their fates. Hines and partner Kym Johnson were the first to be proclaimed safe, followed by Chris and partner Cheryl. Sugar Ray and Anna were left in the lurch. (No big surprises there, ho hum.)

Following a break, Tom and co-host Brooke Burke (who donned a dress that looked suspiciously like my beloved waffle-weave kitchen towel) introduced Chris Brown, who went on to deliver the night's first musical performance. The Temper Tantrum Thrower threw himself around the dancefloor acrobatic-style as he, er, sang? And then he busted some funky dance moves in his smart red suit. He was all sweaty by the time he finished. Kinda gross. But anyway.

With guest bit number one in the books, the "Dancing with the Stars" week 2 results show moved on with more (ta da!) results. Tom reviewed the performances of the actors in the bunch, including Kirstie "I love Maks" Alley, Chelsea "risky business" Kane and Ralph "leaderboard king" Macchio. Ralph and partner Karina Smirnoff were first to be saved, followed by Kirstie and Maks. After teasing them for a moment, Tom let Chelsea and Mark Ballas know that they'd be dancing next week, too. No surprises here, either. Ho ho hum.

After another break, Brooke interviewed the three saved actors in the Red Room. (Gosh, I miss the Red Room.) After being scolded for going a non-traditional route, Mark promised to "obey the law of the judges and entertain the crowd at the same time". Ralph promised to "attack it tomorrow" and said he was "very much" relieved to be moving on. Kirstie said that she planned to "do some interpretive dance" next week. Uh. Yeah.

The "Dancing with the Stars" Troupe members enjoyed their first time in the spotlight as a segment featuring their bios aired. The group includes Peta, the self-proclaimed "vivacious, sensual blonde"; Tristin, the Irish "joker"; Ted, Maks' student; Nicole, the "flirtatious" one and sister of Ted; Oksana the "powerhouse" in a "small package"; and Kiki, the "funky" one. And then of course, they did a little dancin' to "Dance to the Music". So... good filler? Good opportunity for the pros to take a rest? Not sure why they formed the troupe, but hey, it works.

And then more results, woo hoo, as rapper Romeo "best dance of last night" and Mike "wasp at a picnic" Catherwood were called to the stage. Romeo and partner Chelsie Hightower were proclaimed safe, while Mike and partner Lacey Schwimmer were left in peril. Er, again, no surprises here. Nope. Nada.

Up next, the requisite "what's going on with the contestants' clip aired. This week's bit focused on how the couples are getting along. Chelsea called her chemistry with Mark "obnoxious", while Tony Dovolani called partner Wendy Williams "entertaining". Chris noted Cheryl's "wooden smile" and Romeo said he listens to Chelsie "even though she's kind of small". That's just a sampling; there was much, much more. My little fingers can't type fast enough to get 'em all.

Chris Brown returned to the "DWTS" ballroom with a remix of his hit "Forever". It involved Chris singing, a bunch of anonymous dancers, and lots of colored lights. My younger brother would've loved the flashing Christmas tree suit. When he was five.

After another break, Tom revealed that the season's design a dance would be the Jive. Yeah. In the Red Room, Brooke interviewed fate-awaiters Petra "sweet as pie" Nemcova and Wendy "big personality" Williams about their performances. Petra said she thought the scores were fair, while Wendy said that in her opinions, she should've gotten "tens across the board". Uh. Yeah. Kendra "I'm a tomboy" Wilkinson claimed to be less nervous about the results than the dancing itself. Then the three made their way out onto the stage for... dum da dum... judgment.

First to be declared safe to dance again were Kendra and partner Louis. They were followed to safety by Petra and Dmitry. Wendy and Tony, however, remained in peril. So that means that Mike Catherwood, Sugar Ray Leonard, or Wendy Williams will be the first to depart "Dancing with the Stars" 2011. Nothing terribly shocking here, either. Ho ho ho hum.

The "Dancing with the Stars" 2011 week 2 results show came to a close after one final commercial break. Tom and Brooke revealed that Wendy and Tony would be dancing again next week, leaving Mike and Sugar Ray to face the red lights alone. (Aha! I called it! Really, I did!) Tom turned to Len, who said he had "great respect" for both of the men awaiting their fates. After the requisite dramatic music, Mike Catherwood became the first contestant to be eliminated from "Dancing with the Stars" season 12.

Mike called the experience "amazing" and thanked the judges and "everyone involved with Dancing with the Stars". He said that he's made "a lifelong friend" in Lacey. When asked how he felt about being in a group with David Hasselhoff and Kenny Mayne, he said that "it puts me on the Mount Rushmore of terrible dancers" and "it feels good".

So that's it for the "Dancing with the Stars" week 2 results show. Tune in next week to watch as the contestants tell a story through dance. Some will rise to the occasion, some will fall (though hopefully not in the literal sense), but you know it'll be good entertainment no matter what. Of course, if you'd rather, you can just check in with me after the show. You know I'll be watching.