"Dancing With the Stars" Beckons Me

Just like Martin Luther King, Jr., I, too, have a dream. I want to be on "Dancing with the Stars." (DWTS) What qualifies me to be on the show, you may ask. I am a former child star. Never heard of me? Who ever heard of Mike Catherwood before DWTS? In fact, you still may not know who he is since he was the first star eliminated this season.

I have other qualifications too. I love to dance and have some experience - ten years (and counting) of tap lessons. Cloris Leachman, at 82, is the oldest competitor the show has had so far. I'm younger than that by quite a few years. Granted, I'm not as young as Kirstie Alley, but I don't weigh as much either. I imagine Kirstie weighs less now than she did before competing, however. Kirstie is very honest and charmingly self deprecating about her weight. I admire her for that. It's grueling work learning all those dances. I would welcome the daily workouts.

Having my own personal trainer would be a definite perk. Working with the likes of Maksim Chmerkovskiy on a daily basis would take the drudgery out of daily exercise. Maks (for short) is the coach partnered with Kirstie Alley. His great sense of humor would make him my choice also. Although, if it were permitted, I might choose Len Goodman, the grumpy judge. If he were my coach, I might be spared some of his caustic remarks during the judging.

Why do I even want to be on the show? For one thing, the costumes! I am curious to see how they get some of the costumes to stay in place and keep certain body parts covered while the wearer is being twirled and thrown around the dance floor. It would be interesting to see what they would choose for me to wear; they probably wouldn't want me exposing my diamond studded belly button. Secondly, the make-up: they work miracles with make-up on that show. The artists could make me look 10, 20 years younger as long as the make-up didn't slide off with the sweat after performing.

I have a fairly decent work out routine now and would welcome the physical challenge of learning a new dance every week. There is one draw back, I am suffering from plantar fasciitis, - simply put - heel pain. That would make dancing in four inch high heels extremely uncomfortable but not life threatening. I am not willing, however, to risk permanent damage to my foot just to win the mirror ball trophy. (Really, that's the prize.)

If a coach could choreograph dances around shoes with orthopedic inserts I could possibly realize my dream. I know the reality of that happening is very slim. Perhaps I should come up with a new dream. There's always "Oprah." They work miracles with hair and make-up on that show too. Hey a girl can dream, can't she?