Dancing with the Stars Fall 2010 Week 1 Results: Sex Bomb David 'The Hoff' Hasselhoff Fizzles in Premiere Shocker

Just one night after the Fall season of Dancing with the Stars 2010 got its start, the first results show brought the Mirrorball dreams of one celebrity to a premature end in shocking fashion as actor David Hasselhoff was eliminated from contention. Here's a complete rundown of the action, which featured musical performances by Santana, Chris Daughtry and India Arie, lots of drama, and of course, the ominous glow of the red light.

After an hourlong repeat of last night's Dancing with the Stars season 11 premiere (which annoyed me until I got to re-watch a leather-clad Hoff mouth-dancing to Sex Bomb, ha ha ha) the results action began in earnest with a spicy performance by musical guest Santana. Pro dancers Cheryl Burke, Maks Chmerkovskiy, Kym Johnson, Tony Dovolani, Anna Trebunskaya and Corky Ballas took their own stylish spins around the ballroom floor as a visual accompaniment.

DWTS co-hosts Tom Bergeron and Samantha Harris reviewed the week one leaderboard from the three-way Hoff, Situation and Cho tie at the bottom to Jennifer Grey on top. Addressed first were the four bottom-scorers, and much to my personal surprise, singer Michael Bolton and Chelsie Hightower were proclaimed safe to dance again, as were comedienne Margaret Cho and Louis van Amstel. Wow, Michael's safety makes me wrong on week one's eliminee right out of the gate! Go me. Not.

The first Dancing with the Stars Fall 2010 results show continued with nonsense from comedian and former DWTS contestant Adam Carolla. The best part of the whole 'Tour de Dance' was the reference to David Hasselhoff's 80s hair-dos. The rest of it... yeah, no, sorry, he just annoys me too much to reflect on it.

Daughtry followed the Carolla nonsense with a rendition of his hit September. Phew, something worth a watch and a listen! A quartet of dancers I didn't recognize, including two Barbie-esque, bushy-haired blondes, took to the ballroom floor, too. Immediately thereafter, Brooke interviewed the four top-scorers backstage about their thoughts on the competition. Brandy hoped she wouldn't be eliminated, while Jennifer Grey promised to "work day and night" to keep her focus and charge toward the finish line.

After Brooke sent them out onto the stage, Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough, and Rick Fox and Cheryl Burke were next to learn their collective fates: Safe! So that's four safe, and four still in peril, with the middle of the packers still in the dark. Ooh, the drama.

After a commercial break, the Dancing with the Stars results show returned with While My Guitar Gently Weeps by Santana with guest vocalist India Arie. Karina Smirnoff and Louis van Amstel gave a lovely, lyrical accompanying dance. I may be tired, but the whole shebang was almost mesmerizing.

Back in reality, Brooke interviewed the four middle of the packers in the now-rarely used Red Room. (Yeah Red Room! I miss you!) Brady mom Florence Henderson expressed a heartfelt desire to stick around for another week, while teen activist Bristol Palin shared that she thought her mom Sarah was proud of her performance. Then a cute little segment featuring the stars' impressions of one another aired. Awww.

And then, more Dancing with the Stars Fall 2010 week one results action. The Hills star Audrina Patridge and Tony Dovolani, and Florence Henderson and Corky Ballas were saved to dance again. So what do we know so far? Well, half of the cast is safe, half is not. Pretty straight forward. I'm still shocked that the non-charismatic Michael Bolton will be dancing again next week, but hey, it's DWTS and surprises can happen.

After a break, the Dancing with the Stars week one results show continued with a performance by Santana and Chris Daughtry. Woooo! In a cute little post-performance interview, Daughtry vowed allegiance to Michael Bolton, while Santana went with Kurt Warner for the DWTS touchdown. A segment featuring the pro dancers' thoughts on being eliminated first aired, and then the remaining six couples took to the stage to await their fates. Oh, the drama.

And the commercials.

Brooke talked with the six remaining celebs, but it was really just airtime filler so I'm skippin' it. Sorry. And then... more elimination action! Brandy and Maks Chmsekovskiy were proclaimed safe, as were Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas, leaving just four to go! Then, bah, yet another commercial break. Augh! I would totally watch this via DVR, but I don't want to be up til 10:45 waiting to see who gets the boot. The torture of it all. Fortunately I've now ranted enough that it's time for...

The final elimination. Kurt Warner and Anna Trebunskaya were proclaimed safe, as were Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino and Karina Smirnoff, leaving David Hasselhoff and Kyle Massey as the last two standing. Wow, what were you thinking, America? Sex bomb and the Cha Cha Cha master?! After the requisite dramatic music, actor David Hasselhoff was eliminated from Dancing with the Stars Fall 2010.

Aw, I'm so disappointed. As awful as he was out there last night, The Hoff was one of the funniest, most charming contestants of the new season. Shame on you, America, for keeping the uber-bland Michael Bolton and the situationally-challenged Situation around instead of Mitch Buchannon.

Oh well: That's how the cookie crumbles on the Dancing with the Stars week one results show. Tune in next Monday to see the 11 remaining contestants take on brand new dances. Or you can just check in with me. You know I'll be watching.

Sources

Dancing with the Stars 2010 week 1 results show, September 21, 2010, ABC