"Dancing with the Stars:" "A Little like Driving Miss Daisy"

"Dancing with the Stars" on Monday, September 27, 2010 was not kind to Michael Bolton. Dancing to "You Ain't Nothin' But a Hound Dog" with his partner Chelsea Hightower and coming off a week when he finished second from last, Bolton earned only 12 points and some of the most scathing criticism.

The criticism went like this: "The world's not quite ready for you. You needed a pooper-scooper. It really wasn't your cup of tea." This came from Judge Len, but Bruno said he had danced "very, very, very badly. I wanted you to take the bone and go back into the doghouse. I think that was the worst in 11 years on the show." With Bruno showing no mercy, Judge Len was forced to tell Bruno that some of his thoughts he should keep to himself, which is, as they say, the proverbial pot calling the kettle black. Carrie Ann called it "very awkward" but gave Bolton points for effort. As the singer said prior to his performance, "I don't quit, so I'm going to give it all I have." It is entirely possible that Bolton has given it all he has to give and has danced his last dance.

Once again, the judges seemed to be trying to create enthusiasm for Disney sit-com star Kyle Massey (who scored 22 points). Bruno called him, "A powerhouse of boundless energy." Kyle's partner Lacey was attired in what looked like an old-fashioned Prom dress with a big chiffon skirt. This caused Len to say, "It was as though you were engulfed in a giant feather duster" from which a foot occasionally emerged. Carrie Ann called Kyle "a little flatfooted" but once again said she had a crush on him, which seemed fairly obvious last time out.

Margaret Cho and Louis VanAnstel didn't play it for laughs this night, as she declared that her goal was "to show the judges that I can truly dance." She looked much nicer than her first performance, with her hair down rather than up and wearing a zebra-striped black-and-white top with a pink bodice. While all the judges agreed that Margaret had danced "much better," the pair scored only 18 points.

On the top of the heap, once again, were Jennifer Grey and her partner Derek Hough with 24 points. Others who did well were Rick Fox and Cheryl Burke, who received 21 points for the jive they performed. Said Judge Len, "If you can do the jive, you have become a contender here." I was surprised that the score for Rick Fox and his partner was not higher.

Singer Brandi and Maxim, her partner, seemed not to be getting along well, which does not bode well for the future. She wore a schoolgirl outfit and he wore suspenders and plaid pants. Len felt that their performance on the second night of competition was "a step back." He called Brandi's dancing "a little bit brittle" and added, "I don't like that solo stuff," which referred to a moment in their dance when Maxim left the floor briefly to let Brandi shimmy and shine. Bruno said, "I know you can be superb. This was okay, but not good enough." Carrie Ann found Brandi's dancing "a little sloppy." Their score: 21.

Florence Henderson and Corky Ballas scored only 19 this time out. Despite Florence's brave words that "I want to show these young competitors that I can dance," Bruno said, At times, it was a bit like '˜Driving Miss Daisy.'" (Ouch!) Len said, "Based on that performance, I'll see you next week." Carrie Ann said, "I think this dance really suited you. I know you don't want to be judged as a 76-year-old, but you are 76 and you did well."
Audrina Patridge and Tony Davolani did the quickstep, with the gorgeous Audrina showing a lot of skin, which many contestants did not, this night. Bruno said she had gone from being "a show pony to Secretariat." Carrie Ann noted "Huge improvement. Fantastic performance." Len said, "That was the best dance so far tonight."

Kurt Warner and his partner Anna scored 21 points and earned the comment from Len: "From outhouse to penthouse." Bruno declared the Cedar Falls (IA) native to be "A cool guy who does a cool jive. You've got it; I can't wait to see your progression" and noted that it was particularly a challenge for a guy with "hands the size of frying pans." Kurt and Anna danced to "Danger Zone" from the film "Blue Thunder," with Kurt singing along to the lyrics at times and smiling a lot. Before they danced, he brushed off Len's harsh criticism of him from his first performance, saying, "I've been booed by millions. One old guy from England. I think I can handle that."

Bristol Palin and Mark Ballast got a 22, maybe because Mom (Sarah Palin) was there in person. She looked nice in a lavender dress, but her dancing was strictly "ho hum" for me.

Likewise, Mike "the Situation" Sorrentino, dancing with Karina and doing a ballroom step clad in a military outfit, got only 18 points. It is safe to say that neither will go the distance in this competition, but, for now, the judges seem to be playing politics.

Predictions are always difficult. I would say that it would probably be doing Michael Bolton a favor to send him home tomorrow night. He is on tour and trying to shoehorn his practice into his singing schedule. The others who are vulnerable are indicated by their judges' scores, but it seems safe to say that Jennifer, Rick, Kurt, Brandi and Audrina will be around for a while.