"Dancing with the Stars" Season 11 Premiere Full Recap

Let's skip the formalities and cut right to the chase. After all, this is a two-hour show...

Audrina Patridge

Audrina Patridge is the first one up. She's paired with Tony-the man who was regrettably paired with Kate Gosselin in Season 10. She looks great in her cute little yellow costume. But can she keep up with Tony for the Cha-Cha-Cha? Surprisingly she is pretty good. She's got great form. She might be a little stiff; but she is holding her own and her posture is fabulous. Audrina definitely has that shimmy down pat. Len thinks that they danced with confidence but need a little bit more fire. Carrie and Bruno seemed to agree with Len. There were a few technical goofs, resulting in an overall score of 19.

Kurt Warner

Kurt Warner, former MVP/ Dad extraordinaire has a spicy attitude. But his rehearsal looks a little clumsy. He is definitely no Emmitt Smith. He's dancing the Viennese waltz, a pretty safe first dance. As usual with many NFL players, he looks pretty stiff at first, but seems to pull it off. But pearly white teeth and good intentions will only take you so far on "Dancing with the Stars." Nonetheless, Bruno thinks he's a natural and thinks he has great potential (and great smile.) But Len has little praise. Kurt ties with Audrina, with a score of 19.

Kyle Massey

Chubby cheeked Kyle Massey steps into the rehearsal room with tons of smiles and lots of enthusiasm. Kyle serves up the camp. But he could use a little bit of agility. Nonetheless, he seems to be working it out fairly well. He's got tons of personality but he's going to have to tighten up a few of those movements. Carrie Ann says that this is her first crush of season 11. Clearly he has won her over. Even grumpy Len liked his routine (although he hates the camp.) Bruno adores Kyle's naughty little performance. With a score of 23, Kyle is already leading the pack.

Rick Fox

Basketball hunk Rick Fox is up next. He and his Colgate grin are paired up with Cheryl Burke, one of the most popular DWTS champions. He looks suave and debonair. But can that height (he's 6'7") translate into something memorable on the dance floor? Like Kurt, he attacks the Viennese waltz. His opening is a bit more passionate than the former NFL star's. He also seems a little bit lighter on his feet. The charisma is definitely there. And the ladies are certainly loving his moves. Len loves his smoothness and posture and thinks he has done a great job. Bruno and his overly enthusiastic interpretation echo the sentiment. Carrie Ann thinks he is amazing - mainly because of his height, rather than in spite of it. Score: 22

Margaret Cho

Margaret has covered her numerous tattoos with an equally colorful long-sleeved ballroom gown. The world is wondering whether Margaret Cho will be able to channel some of that comic relief into something that doesn't look like an awkward toilet dump. She and Louis attack the Viennese waltz with predictable aplomb. And then suddenly huge cape emerges from Margaret's dress, as she begins spinning around in the fabric. Ahhh yes, here is the comic relief we were looking for. But sometimes kitsch isn't always popular on this show. Bruno wants to know "what the hell was that?" Perhaps the camp is a bit too much for the dance. They don't do so well with a score of 15.

Brandy

The world has been waiting to see how R&B singer Brandy is going to do. And with Maksim for a partner the world's eyes are certainly glued to the screen. Her Viennese waltz looks touching if not a little theatrical. But surprisingly, she's not really doing so badly. You can still see a little of that R&B attitude on occasion. But for the most part, she's pretty smooth. Maybe all that chemistry with Maksim is helping her out. Carrie Ann thinks her lines are gorgeous; but she could use a tad more grace. Len and Bruno are in agreement. Score: 23.

Bristol Palin

We have all been dying to see whether Bristol Palin has any moves that we don't already know about. She appears to be having some trouble with her cha-cha in the rehearsal. Indeed, her stage show is a little clunky. But some of her footwork isn't too shabby. You can tell that she's really not comfortable with this sort of thing. Nonetheless, watching her move isn't as painful as watching Kate Gosselin stomp across the floor in the previous season. Len thinks that it's "acceptable", and that she's done well despite her nerves. Ehhh... We'll have to see. Ironically, she nabs three 6's from the judges (Insert Joke Here.) Score: 18

Florence Henderson

Did "Carol Brady" just lift up her shirt and reveal her broad and ads for the world to see? This woman is 76 years old and she pulled a Betty White move right before the commercial break. Teaming up with Corky, she is going to attempt a sexy cha-cha. She's definitely got spunk. And she is surprisingly loose around the hips. Some of the footwork needs a little polishing. But you can't fault her for that. Overall she does a pretty terrific job-and receives a standing ovation. The judges agree that she's got tons and tons of personality but needs lots of work on her technique. She, too grabs triple sixes, but plenty of kudos for her "sex appeal." Score: 18

Michael Bolton

It is now the crooner's turn to take the stage. He is paired with Chelsie for his Viennese waltz. You can tell that Michael is trying really hard to overcome his tendency to slouch. But as a result, some of his moves are incredibly cumbersome. There is even a moment or two when it appears that Michael might fall down. (Good thing Chelsie is leading...) If he doesn't turn things around, his time on the show will be limited. Carrie Ann admits that he needs to smile, and release the tension in his face when he dances. Bruno and Len also think that he should loosen up and learn to enjoy himself. Hmm...maybe he should dance to his own music. Score: 16.

Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino

Mike and Karina make a sexy team for the Cha-Cha-Cha. Mike's goofy antics and Rambo abs are sure to score fans. But the rehearsals show just how brutal this process really is. You almost get the idea that he about to start fist pumping any minute. During his routine, he pulls a John Travolta maneuver and a few Guido moves as well. He seems to be having a good time. And some of his footwork isn't so bad. You can tell he needs a little work on his technique. But who cares! It's Mike "The Situation"! His personality more than makes up for any foibles on the dance floor. Len thinks he's got the potential to be a good dancer, but just needs to rehearse a bit more. Len even pops out a one-liner: "You've got the guns, but not the ammunition..." Both Carrie and Bruno think that he needs to update his shtick and get some more practice under his belt. Those 80s movies have got to go. Score: 15.

Jennifer Grey

To say that the world has been waiting for "Baby" to step out on the DWTS stage is an understatement. She debuts on the show with the Viennese waltz. And guess what? They are actually using a song from Dirty Dancing. During rehearsal, she has a déjà vu moment about her co-star, the late Patrick Swayze, and immediately breaks down into tears. She and Derek have an amazing connection during the waltz. And clearly Jennifer has not lost any of her passion. The audience is on its feet after her performance. "Baby" just might be the one to beat. Bruno announces that Baby is back where she belongs. Carrie Ann gets weepy (in a good way); and Len thinks she's done a great job but is waiting to see more. Score: 24.

David Hasselhoff

For the season's opener, the Knight Rider must tackle the Cha-Cha-Cha. The Hoff knows how to work that Fonzie angle. Buthe needs a bit more skip this step. And some of his movements are really robotic. The crowd goes wild when he rips off his "leather" shirt. David has enough panache to perhaps hang around for a while. Carrie Ann appreciates that he felt sexy but he really needs some work on smoothing it out. Len's words are friendly; but he feels that the slapstick should take a backseat. Bruno loves David's "Liberace" mannerisms, but thinks he has no technique whatsoever. Oh well, better luck next time. Score: 15.

SOURCES:

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