Dancing with the Stars Week 10 Performance Show Recap & Revelations - Why Mya Won't Win

The Dancing with the Stars week 10 performance show aired tonight, marking the final night season 9 action. The three finalists, including frontrunner Mya, entertainment icon Donny Osmond and season 9 surprise sweetheart-slash-comeback-kid Kelly Osbourne, went head-to-head-to-head as they performed three brand new dances each for the judges and home viewers to review. Tune in tomorrow night to find out the results of the big Dancing with the Stars vote! But I'm getting ahead of myself! Who delivered a rockin' freestyle, prompting Carrie Ann Inaba to issue an invitation to the DWTS freestyle Hall of Fame? What the heck is a Mega Mix round? Read on for answers to these questions plus the play by play of the night's happenings, from your rose colored glasses-wearing, professional mama DWTS superfan. And a special week 10 bonus: What I think will happen tomorrow night after the big Dancing with the Stars vote.

Dancing with the Stars week 10: Round One, Individual Dances

First up on Dancing with the Stars week 10, performing an Argentine Tango, were Kelly Osbourne and partner Louie van Amstel. As judge Carrie Ann Inaba pointed out during a pre-dance taped segment, Kelly has historically had problems with touchy-feely dances, but not tonight! She was smooth, sultry and slick out there, and I'm very proud of what she's managed to accomplish over the last 10 weeks in DWTS. Head Judge Len Goodman praised her for her "hard work and perseverence" and said she was great. Bruno Tonioli called her "the relevation of this season" but noted that her "free hand was a bit loose" at times. Carrie Ann praised the "intimacy and intensity" of the routine and called it "very sophistocated". Kelly Osbourne and Louir van Amstel's Dancing with the Stars week 10 round one scores: 9, 9, 8 = 26.

Season 9 scoring sensation Mya and partner Dmitry Chaplin were up next on Dancing with the Stars week 10 with their Paso Doble. I know I've been hard on Mya all season long. I don't dig slutty costumes and smarmy choreography. And I can't resist starting here with a little snark, too: How hard is it to dance a Paso Doble, a dance of aggression, to a song like We Will Rock You? Not very. But beyond that, it was a good routine, full of power and booty-kicking appeal. Bruno said "the power of Mya, unleased for all to admire". Shocking, he liked it. He's been consistent. Carrie Ann called her "the queen of the paso doble". Len said his favorite paso ever was from Mel B and Maks, and Mya's offering was "right up there with it". High praise, all in all. Mya and Dmitry Chaplin's Dancing with the Stars week 10 round one scores: 10, 10, 10 = 30.

Donny Osmond and partner Kym Johnson finished off Dancing with the Stars week 10 round one action with their silver-studded Cha Cha Cha. I swear, any time Donny can pretend he's back in 1975, he nails it. And this was one of those times for me. He clearly had a fabulous time perfming this dance, even if it wasn't super difficult from a choreograhy standpoint. It was fun, flirty and fabulous. Carrie Ann said "Donny Osmond, where did those hips come from?". Len said "Ding, dong Donny, that was a cha cha cha" and noted that it was a tough dance to perform. Bruno called Donny "a credit to his profession" and praised him for taking his criticism during their time working together. Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson's Dancing with the Stars week 10 round one scores: 9, 9, 9 = 27.

Dancing with the Stars week 10: Round Two, Mega Mix Challenge

Up next: The first-ever DWTS Mega Mix round, featuring the three pairs dancing the same dances next to each other at the same time! The super-de-duper drama of it all! Yowza, it's hard to give play-by-play on this, so I'll just provide a few basic thoughts. First off, it sucks that Kelly, the one most likely to struggle with confidence issues, experienced a wardrobe malfunction when her skirt refused to come off between dances one and two! Secondly, the costumes were so brightly colored that it was har to pay attention to much of anything. Oh my. So what did the judges say? Len said "it was really, really difficult" to judge and noted that there was "no clear winner". Bruno praised Mya's ability to Salsa, noted Kelly's wardrobe issues but said she did well anyway, and told Donny that "at times" he thought he was one of the pros. Carrie Ann praised near-geriatric Donny for keeping up with the girls (who Kym had previously pointed out were young enough to be his daughters), and told Mya that her dancing makes her hips go "boom, boom!" (Yeah, that was weird.) She too enjoyed Kelly's waltz.

After some chit chat among the judges, the Mega Mix results were in: The Dancing with the Stars week 10 Mega Mix Challenge outcome found Kelly and Louie in third place with 26 points, Donny and Kym in second with 28, and Mya and Dmitry in first with 30. Shocking. NOT.

Dancing with the Stars week 10: Round Three, Freestyle!

Historically a serious crowd pleaser, Dancing with the Stars week 10 action wrapped up with the super fun, action-packed Freestyle round.

Up first were Kelly and Louie. I was intrigued when, during their taped pre-dance segment, Kelly stressed over looking "like a beached whale upside down". Hmmm. Gloria Gaynor's I Will Survive was an excellent musical seection for Kelly "the comeback kid"s final DWTS offering. And it translated into a great performance too, even if there were a few glaring missteps along the way. As my hubby noted after the last bar, "well, at least they went for it". Bruno said "you never looked more beautiful than tonight" and "sometimes people fell on the floor" during the disco era. Ha. Carrie Ann said "you were definitely a survivor" and said "you remind us of who we want to be if we're facing this challenge". Len said "I thoroughly enjoyed watching you". Aw, a judges' lovefest! Kelly Osbourne and Louie can Amstel's Dancing with the Stars week 10 freestyle scores: 8, 8, 8 = 24.

Dancing with the Stars week 10 continued on with a Hairspray-inspired routine by Mya and Dmitry that the singer initially worried was "too safe" to win. They had one super cool lift that involved Mya spinning around like a fast-forwarding minute-hand on a clock, but otherwise, I expected more from them. She's a fabulous dancer. She should've gone crazy out there! Carrie Ann said "high energy, fun, but not outstanding for me". Len agreed with Carrie Ann, saying "it never went anywhere" and "I was expecting something to happen and it never happened". Bruno praised the beat, but also agreed with the others two judges, saying he'd expected something "spectacular". Mya and Dmitry Chaplin's Dancing with the Stars week 10 freestyle scores: 9, 9, 9 = 27.

The last freestyle of the night - and all of DWTS season 9! - belonged to Donny and Kym. They put together a cute Broadway-inspired routine. It as cute, stamped all over the place with DONNY! and definitely not scary like his sister Marie's weird doll freestyle a few seasons ago. Good work Donny! Len called it "an absolute showstopper" and then moved away from Bruno, who jumped to his feet and shouted "Mr. Show Business at his best" and went on to call Donny "the master". Carrie Ann said "welcome to the Hall of Fame of the Freestyle!". Donny Osmond and Kym Johnsons' Dancing with the Stars week 10 freestyle scores: 10, 10, 10 = 30.

The Round-Up

What a night of Dancing with the Stars action! If it comes down to who finished with an exclamation point, Donny Osmond has it in the bag. If voters look across the entirety of season 9 and go for all-around excellence, the trophy will go to Mya, hands' down. The least likely winner seems to be Kelly Osbourne, if only because she trails the other two significantly in judges' points this evening, but she too could pull it out of her hat. She clearly has a solid fan base, and the fans have the power here.

So here's how I think it'll all shake down: Kelly will find herself in third place, with Mya in second and Donny taking the trophy. So why won't Mya win Dancing with the Stars season 9? Three words: The Osmond Machine. Mya is, by all accounts, the best technical dancer this season. She can shimmy and shake with the best of 'em in DWTS history. Donny is good - he's the lovable, iconic entertainer, and let's face it: Everyone loves an Osmond. Given that he's trailing Mya by only three points after tonight's action, it's more than plausible to believe that The Osmond Machine will pull it out in his favor. But that's just what I think will happen. And who knows: Maybe I'm underestimating Kelly!

Tune in to the Dancing with the Stars season 9 finale tomorrow night for the clash of the NFL egos, a performance by Whitney Houston, and of course, the crowning of a brand new DWTS champion. Or you can just check in with me. You know I'll be watching.