Dancing with the Stars Week 6 Results , Season 9: Who Went Home?

Dancing with the Stars week 6 is in the books, and tonight's DWTS results show aired under the heavily looming shadow of another double elimination. But there's a lot to mention before we get to the big reveal, including musical performances by country / pop princess Taylor Swift, the return of the live-or-die DWTS dance-off, and a daddy-son bonding moment between Head Judge Len Goodman and one of the celebs. If you're looking for the whole Dancing with the Stars week 6 results show enchilada, you're in the right place. (Though tonight, my mind is clouded by a mix of a stuffy nose and the grind of a carpet cleaner in addition to the usual mommy-goggles, but we'll all deal, k?)

Taylor Swift kicked off the Dancing with the Stars week 6 results show with a kickin' rendition of her song Jump then Fall from her Platinum edition Fearless album. I like Taylor Swift. She really endeared herself to me in an 'aw, her mama must be proud' way when, at the CMAs a few years ago, she gushed that winning an award was the highlight of her senior year. High school. I teared up. Actually, I'm tearing up right now just remembering the moment. Ah, youth. But anyhow, good performance. I wish she'd plucked her big, sparkly, diamond-encrusted guitar instead of that boring-looking wooden one, but I'll let it go this time because Kanye West was a jerk to her at the VMAs.

Post Tay-Tay, a recap of last night's Dancing with the Stars Fall 2009 week 6 action aired. And I was reminded of precisely how brutal last night's show had been! Not only did snowboarder Louie Vito drop partner Chelsie Hightower twice during their Jitterbug, but there were lots of low scores. L-o-o-o-t-s of low scores. And of course, you know it wouldn't be a Dancing with the Stars recap without me snarking about pop star Aaron Carter for moment. In this edition of the Carter Snark Fest, I'll note that Aaron once again referred to Len as a father-figure. Really? Are you sure you aren't just trying to kiss Crankypants' behind? Mmm-kay, Aaron. Mmm-kay. Sorry; it's just too easy to pick on Aaron. He whines, he cries, he seems to have daddy-issues. He's a case study, and I am an analyst.

Moving on. Dancing with the Stars week 6 results action began in earnest as co-hosts Tom Bergeron and Samantha Harris proclaimed model Joanna Krupa and Derek Hough (duh) and Iron Chef America star Mark Dacascos and Lacey Schwimmer (a little less profoundly duh but still duh) safe to dance again next week on Dancing with the Stars Fall 2009.

Next came a segment featuring the remaining celebs' panicked thoughts on potential elimination. It was sort of boring, so I'll skip it and go directly to more Dancing with the Stars week 6 results: Entertainer Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson (super, mega duh) and Aaron 'is that a tear I see?' Carter and Karina Smirnoff were proclaimed safe to dance again next week on DWTS season 9. Okay, still not surprised.

A commercial break was followed by a Dancing with the Stars week 6 results show performance by Tiempo Libre. I'd never heard of them before, but apparently the group is comprised of seven Cuban refugees, all guys. All young. Growl, cougar, growl. Just kidding. High energy, fun, and okay, yeah, they're cuties. I may be an old mama of three, but I still have a pulse.

Ah, then Dancing with the Stars Fall 2009 continued with another taped segment. Apparently, the celebs are in charge of next week's costumes, so this segment involved the stars working on their designs with the costume director. (Yeah, I have no idea what his title is. Sorry.) My favorite line? Joanna Krupa: "How many rhinestones can go on a speedo?" Muwahahaha.

And finally, more Dancing with the Stars season 9 results action as singer Mya and Dmitry Chaplin (duh duh) and reality star Kelly Osbourne (who is celebrating a birthday today) and Louie van Amstel were deemed safe. That leaves actress Melissa Joan Hart and Mark Ballas, Louie Vito and Chelsie Hightower, and NFL star Michael Irvin and Anna Demidova in the bottom three. High drama. Not surprised by this; Melissa is better than that, but she was weak last night. Poor mama friend. Louie and Michael are rightfully at the bottom of the heap.

Post-break, the Dancing with the Stars week 6 results show resumed with another song by Taylor Swift. This time? Love Story. Okay. I'm a thirtysomething. (An early thirtysomething, just to make myself sound less pathetic.) But I love Love Story. I hum it to myself in the car and it floats around in my mind for days. I'll be quietly singing it to myself as I walk my daughter to school in the morning. "Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone..." Ahhhhhh. You MUST listen to this song. Must. Love Story. Taylor Swift. Love it. Oh, I'd be horribly remiss if I forgot to note that three professional couples danced a Romeo and Juliet inspired routine, complete with studly men and long, flowing hair. Wooooooot! Probably my favorite special guest performance of DWTS season 9 thus far.

Next, a totally random segment featuring random stars' thoughts on achieving perfect scores aired on the Dancing with the Stars week 6 results show. Contributors included Olympic diver Greg Louganis and gymnast Nadia Comeneci, and some random basketball dude whose name I didn't recognize and can't recall. (Sorry.) But seriously, why? Oh, that's right; they have to fill up an entire hour of Dancing with the Stars. Mmm-kay. My suggestion? Have more dance. Duh. Duh, duh, duh.

The first elimination of the night, finally! After the usual dramatic music and torture of the celebs, Tom and Samantha revealed that Melissa Joan Hart and Mark Ballas had been eliminated from the Dancing with the Stars season 9 competition. Ugh! What the heck is wrong with America?! Of the three of them, Melissa was the LAST one who should've gone home. Gah. Idiot ESPN nation. Idiots, the lot of you. If there was a way I could screw up your NFL picks....

Anyway, bitterness shoved aside, it's onto the Dancing with the Stars week 6 results show dance-off between Michael Irvin and Louie Vito. Pre-dance, I'm thinking that no matter what happens, the judging trio will take the opportunity to boot Michael from the group. Gosh, I hope they do. Louie isn't really much better, but he's cute with Chelsie. Michael and Anna went first in the dance-off, and were admittedly pretty decent with their self-chosen Samba. He shook those hips like jello. And he had fun. Len praised him for coming "alive" over the past few weeks and called it "enjoyable". Bruno called it "the crowd pleaser", and Carrie Ann said he did well with "the personality part" but not so well with technique. Louie and Chelsie presented a Jive. Oof, he lost his place a few times. They were cute, but man, I think this Jive was over Louie's head. Bruno said "what impressed me was the amount of content" they included. Carrie Ann said she'd expected MORE content, and Len agreed, though he called their dance "sharp" "fast" and "clean". I think Michael's toast.

Dancing with the Stars returned from a break with the big reveal. Tom turned to the judges for their thoughts. Bruno gave the edge to Louie and Chelsie, and then (shockingly, blech) Len chose Michael and Anna. Carrie Ann broke the tie by voting for Michael and Anna, sending Louie Vito and Chelsie Hightower home. EGADS! Will Michael EVER go home?! I saw Carrie Ann make an odd face as Louie and Chelsie took to the ballroom floor for their last dance. Maybe she thought she'd made a mistake? She hecka made a mistake. Idiots, the lot of 'em. Blech.

So that's what happened on Dancing with the Stars. Week 6 is over, and Melissa Joan Hart and Louie Vito were shown the door. And Michael Irvin still stands. I'm beginning to have Master P-like feelings toward him, so I'd best stop here lest the commentary should become a wee bit too colorful.

I really have nothing productive or nice to say, so I'll stop here and remind you to tune in next Monday at 8 PM for more action. Or you can just check in with me. You know I'll be watching.