Dating Advice: How to Get Dumped with Dignity

Almost everyone who has had a relationship has been dumped at least once. Realizing your lover doesn't want to continue a relationship is one of the worst feelings in the world. Especially difficult, is when the break-up comes as a surprise or catches you off guard. There are so many intense emotions during a break-up, especially if you are the one being broken up with. Rejection, anxiety, depression, and anger are all natural emotions, but conducting yourself in the most self-respecting fashion is the best way to deal with being dumped. If you ever find yourself in the situation of being broken up with, these tips on how to handle the situation can help.

Firstly, remain composed. It is okay to show some emotion, as breaking up is an emotional time. However, melodramatic crying, begging, carrying on, threatening, yelling, or calling names is not appropriate during a break-up. All it will make the other person do is affirm inwardly that they are doing the right thing.

Don't argue with your former partner about why they are breaking up with you. If you believe they are wrong about a particular reason, clearly and calmly state your position. Something like, "I hear you when you say you are breaking up with me because you believe I cheated, but you are wrong," is appropriate. The fact is, the person obviously feels strongly enough in their reasoning to break up with you, it is likely their mind won't be changed right then and there.

Sometimes people end a relationship in the heat of anger. If this is the case, and you don't want to break-up, the best thing to do is leave the situation until everyone has calmed down. Communicating something such as, "I know you are really angry and may not have meant that, I am going to give you some space until we both calm down." They may yell that they meant every word and it is truly over, but time will tell.

If your now ex-boyfriend or girlfriend does truly want to end the relationship and the feeling is not mutual, don't beg or harass them. Don't suddenly appear on Facebook with heartfelt status updates about them. Do not drive by their house, send letters, or call them repeatedly. If your ex wants to re-establish communication, trust they will call you.

If you want to continue communication as "friends" after being dumped, don't reduce yourself to dramatic stunts such as appearing with another lover to elicit jealousy, or by tearfully reminding them of how much you still love them. If you want to reconcile with your ex, the best thing to do is show them how wrong they were in letting you go. The best way to achieve that is to conduct yourself in a manner worthy of respect, by showing self-respect.

It is crucial to realize that people rarely break-up with people they feel happy with. This doesn't mean that you are not a wonderful, caring person who deserves love. It simply means that perhaps the two of you were not compatible, or were in different places in life. Additionally, ask yourself why you would want to continue a relationship with someone who would hurt you so deeply. It may help to meditate or pray on the reasons your ex gave for the break-up, and ask if there may be some truth to their reasons. There very well may not be, but if there are kernels of truth, it may be useful to explore yourself and ways you can improve potentially negative behaviors (such as jealousy, neediness, or controlling behaviors which are common reasons people are dumped).

Finally, recognize that being dumped doesn't reflect poorly on you as a person. When a relationship is going south, someone has to be the one who breaks up and someone has to be the one who is broken-up with. It doesn't make you "damaged goods" or not worthy of a loving, caring relationship. If you are ever in the position of being dumped, remember that acting with dignity in the face of adversity says a lot about a person's character, and that you will love again.