Dating Advice: How to Tell If She's Using You

This woman is like no other. She has blown your mind and rocked your world. She knows all the right things to say and do to have you wrapped around her perfectly manicured fingers. She's the one. Or is she? What if she's just using you? How can you tell?

The good news is that you don't have to be a mind reader, psychic, psychologist, or private detective to uncover the truth. If you suspect that your woman is merely using you as her Sugar Daddy or a Toy Boy, there are a few signs that you can watch for.

Sugar Daddies Beware

Some men pride themselves on being Sugar Daddies because it makes them feel powerful. To have something tangible that draws women from all walks of life, such as a supple income or an expensive car makes some men feel as though they have "arrived". They use these items as a tool for manipulating shallow and weak-minded women. If you are a different breed of man and actually desire a relationship with a woman who is interested in you as a person, you must be able to weed out the users. You may be a Sugar Daddy and not even know it!

"Don't You Want Your Woman to Look Nice?"

If you have heard this statement on more than one occasion from your woman as you were asked to buy clothes, shoes, and jewelry or finance her visit to the hair or nail salon, she may very well be thinking (or at least hoping) that you are her Sugar Daddy. You may in fact love the way that she looks as she drains your bank account and runs up your credit card balances with expensive purchases. But this is not what love is about. If she cannot enjoy being with you without spending your money, she is using you. And if she is not capable of looking nice without any monetary assistance from you, then there is a definite problem.

"What You Won't Pay for, Another Man Will!"

You've never had a woman like her and she knows it. Perhaps she is highly attractive, and your male friends and associates are forever telling you how fortunate you are to be with her. She bats her eyes as men drool over her everywhere she goes. You feel like the luckiest man in the world, and she reminds you of that quite often. Especially when she does not get what she wants from you! If she routinely threatens to find a man who will buy her all the desires of her heart, you should by all means let her find that man.

Sex before Shopping - and Skip the Foreplay!

If the mere thought of going shopping at your expense turns her on, you are a Sugar Daddy. No need for foreplay; after all the mall closes as nine! She's a manipulator who is merely using sex to get what she really wants from you. And you are buying it - both literally and figuratively. Steamy sex has ruined many a man's life however, and you could be next in line, so beware!

"My Man Has the Tab!"

You have your chest poked out as she brags to her mother and her girlfriends about how generous you are with your cash flow. What your chest should in fact read is "Sucker," because that's exactly what you are if your woman routinely treats her friends and family members to anything with your money. Don't take her words as genuine compliments, because as soon as you stop paying, those words are likely to change for the worse.

Toy Boys Get a Grip!

She's like the teacher you secretly fantasized about when you were in the fifth grade. She's beautiful, vivacious and experienced. Now you're all grown up and you're all the man she needs. Your friends can't believe you landed someone so much older and more sophisticated. At the same time, she's so much

fun! And generous too! She even surprised you with a Nintendo Wii for your birthday. Must be true love, right? Or could you merely be her Toy Boy?

"You Go Girl!"

If her and her friends exchange a round of "high fives" whenever she brings you around them, you could very well be her Toy Boy. She likes to show off her young stud, and you are all smiles as she brags about your tight abs and the latest dance you taught her at the club the other night. If she seems to almost get a high off the kudos people give her for landing you, beware. She could just be using you for an ego boost.

"Yes Ma'am"

If your woman routinely orders you around like she's your mother, she could very well be using you. Perhaps she gives you chores and even an allowance (disguised as sexy "Honey-do's" and a little spending cash to show her appreciation). Like the self-proclaimed Sugar Daddy, this woman is on a power kick. Instead of saying "yes" to everything you are instructed to do, try saying "no" a time or two. If she gives you the boot, then she probably never cared about you anyway.

After Hours Only

This woman is like a vampire. She only seems to seek you out at night. You've never met her parents or her coworkers. In fact, you don't even know where she works. She goes to church every Sunday but does not invite you along. It's always her place or yours. Of course, the sex is great, so you have chosen not to complain. But is she really feeling you, or are you just her Toy Boy? News flash: If she only wants to have sex with you and does not want you to meet her family or coworkers, then yes, she is using you, and you are officially her Toy Boy.

Not All Women are Users

There are plenty of women who can appreciate a man for his substance and are not looking merely to get paid - or laid. Perhaps you've overlooked them. Maybe you even broke a heart or two in the past. If you are now with a user, don't take it as Karma or payback. Instead, take it as a sign that you need to make better choices when it comes to dating. Ask yourself, "What drew me to this person?" and answer as honestly as you can. Were you lonely, looking to boost your self-esteem or trying to impress your friends? Are you able to spot quality in a woman or are you wrapped up in superficial things such as a pretty face and a curvy physique? Before you can find and embrace true love, it is critical that you get in tune with yourself so that you can avoid hooking up with a user the next time around.