Dating Identity Crisis

Have you ever met or known anyone who changes their personality and their ways of thinking according to whom they're around? If your answer is no! Then you are missing out on; though it be a pathetic sight. Outside of the entertainment industry. Seeing a person change their views and their character at random, can be some pretty entertaining stuff. Don't get me wrong! I'm not referring to people with medical conditions such as schizophrenia or what have you. But instead, those people who do this to be apart of any conversation, to vie for attention, to stay on the good side of so called friends etc. Just for the sake of being non biased. Maybe we all have done this at some point in our lives. But when you are well off into your adulthood? As I stated earlier, it's pathetic as-well as entertaining. But mostly just pathetic!

As I think back to my younger years. Throughout grammar school and high school, I was given many nicknames and the one most befitting for this article would be. "El Lobo Solo" (The Lone Wolf). I was tagged with this name because I was for the most part, a loner. Though I was a jock with a better than average GPA and was well know and respected by teachers and staff as-well as my peers. I never really hung-out with any certain group. To borrow from one of our fellow CP's (Dr. Jamie Y. Marable) I often found myself befriending the "Underdog", the "Nerd", the "Misfit" or what have you. Even though they were pretty much shunned by the majority, they were secure in who they were. Unlike those "popular" kids. Who would change, it seemed on a daily basis, to continue to be apart of their "clique". Ever weary not to do anything to upset the so called heads of the group. For risk of being excluded and becoming the objects of ridicule themselves.

Now that I'm an adult........A mature adult!! Emphasis on "mature". Just because you are up in age and have a few gray hairs. Does not mean you have evolved into a person who has gained wisdom over the years, who is comfortable with who you are and the decisions you make, or that you practice self worth and just old fashioned good common sense. I personally know a few individuals of this sort, both male and female. Now as all of us here at "AC" know. Part of being a writer is paying attention to detail and being aware of your surroundings. With that being said lets have an example on the subject... Shall we?

A couple of weeks ago, I was having a few cocktails with an long time acquaintance. We were to be joined later by another party. So of course, while we were waiting, we talked. About life, love, family, life's lessons, tragedies in th news, how we would like our lives to be and what steps we are and willing to take to achieve certain goals etc. Now anyone who knows me knows that I am positive person, an optimist. I don't care to be in the company of negative people. Especially for long periods of time.... Anyway! As our conversation progressed. It is filled with intellect, unbiased opinions, non coarse jokes, logic and compassion for all living things.
Mind you, it is just the two of us. During our conversation we're then joined by the person we were waiting for. Who by-the-way. Is More associated with my long time acquaintance than myself. After the greetings.

The next words out of this individuals mouth would be to criticize and talk about people in our immediate surroundings, and it didn't stop there. Every topic of conversation through the day would contain. Let's just say things of an unsavory nature. And to my surprise, my long time acquaintance joins in and has changed every view on every subject we've just discussed. I mean a complete 180! Intellect is replace with follow the leader, non biasness with the band wagon, non coarse jokes with nit-picking, logic with one track thinking, compassion for all living things with that's just to bad, etc. Needless to say! It wasn't long before I separated myself from the situation. My long time acquaintance and I are still very close. I've never asked why the change in views and personality amongst certain people. I honestly feel it will only be met with denial, defensiveness and lies. Besides! This individual is old enough to be well aware of the things they say and do. It is not my responsibility to point out character defects and it is certainly not my job to try and fix them. Especially when I'm constantly observing myself and working on my own!!

I guess there are several reasons some people choose to be this way. I personally believe the main reason is Fear. Fear of losing "so called" friends, fear of lonliness, fear of acceptance and most of all fear of "SELF"!!!