· When dating an older man, keep in mind that you must have something to talk about. This means you may both have interests that are completely different. He may not know all the current songs that are popular or where the trendiest clubs are. He may not have a clue about what things you did in your childhood that took place in the 80's. His childhood may have been 20 years before yours. This means, you must find something that you two have in common if you want to have a real connection with the older man. Try asking him what he likes to do, what he does during his free time. Find something, even if it is just a book you both read an enjoyed, and expand on that. Finding things in common with older men can be challenging, but in order to successfully date an older man, you must look for the commonality thread.
· If you are set on dating an older man, remember that people may talk. You need to prepare yourself by putting on a thick skin and a catty-remark shield that will bounce off any negative comments. People may call you a gold-digger hoping to just cash in on your man's big bucks. He may be called a "sugar daddy" if he lavishes you with gifts and you readily accept them. What is important is to let these comment slide, especially if you aren't dating the older man for any of those reasons. If you are dating an older man for those reasons; perhaps you need to rethink it.
· If you are interested in dating an older man but are nervous about it, why not talk to him about your concerns. You may find out that he has the same concerns as you do about the age difference. This may be beneficial to any impending relationship between the two of you. If you air any concerns that you start to have, he may also be impressed with your maturity, even if there is a significant age difference. This may add to the attraction factor!
· When dating an older man it is essential to keep in mind that while you may have some pretty major differences, and that trying to find a common thread between the two of you was like pulling teeth, your differences should be embraced. Honestly, you most likely aren't going to find a ton in common with an older man, especially a much older man, so why not embrace your differences and run with them? There are going to be many times when you will not have the experience with something that your date has. Instead of pouting about it or complaining, listen to your date; let him show you a thing or two. Make it a learning experience for you! This can also be reversed. Your date should be open to things that make you different than him. He should be able to learn a thing or two from you also.
Is it possible to date an older man and sustain a serious and compatible relationship? You bet! There are many love matches made between much older men and younger women. It can happen. Women often look for older and wiser men to connect with, just make sure you are dating an older man because you are truly interested in him as a person and nothing else.
Published by Kaye Siders
I am currently a full time mom to my two young sons. I also have a wonderful husband. In another life I was a special education teacher for almost ten years. Writing has always been something I enjoyed. View profile
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4 Comments
Post a Commentok her is my situation I am in a dead end relationship but, we have three beautiful chidren together that is the good of our relationship. I have met a older man at my job and I cant stop thinking about him he has showed up at my house and joined my family for dinner..I cant get him out of my thoughts and wish i can start a new relationship with this man but I know I could never do that too my family. Im sad to say this really bites.
I'm in the same boat - we used to attend the same church and I was friens with his daughter for many years...now we are grown up...she and I are both 43, she's married with children and he is good friends with my boss...a little uncomfortable, but he's so handsome and he and I have good conversations...I just don't want him to know I'm interested because he probably just thinks of me as the daughter type, however, he did tell me he had 3 cottages where they live and I should come up sometimes...he was probably just being nice..who knows.
Try talking to him like he's your friend first and let him see your softer side.
This article has been quite helpful for me.
I do have one question. First let me explain a little.
I am a 36 year old woman. I have a function I attend every saturday night. During my attendance I met a man I became interested in(mostly physically). I let him know I was interested, After finding out he is married, I completely left it alone. However, His father also attends this function every Saturday night as well. The father and I have become friends, and to my surprise, I have become very emotionally attracted to the father. This wonderful man (the father) is probably at least 30 some years older than I am. How do I let him know I am interested, without looking like a Jezabel?