Dating Older Men

Jane
There are certain elements necessary in a relationship to make it succeed. It's safe to assume that we all find trust and respect, along with mental and physical connections, absolute requirements. Nowhere in the lists of ingredients for the recipes of successful relationships does it read, "Must be same age." So why is there all this fuss that occurs when a grown adult female dates a man many years her elder, with more of society agreeing it's wrong than not?

Trust and respect are values that do not discriminate against age. They are things we learn, gain, and bestow upon others from the day we're born and possess until the day we die. They are relative and may vary tremendously from person to person, but they are still there regardless of their quantity. It takes a lot to simultaneously trust and respect someone completely in today's world and the opportunities that present themselves to do so are far and few. Those that can be entirely trusted and respected should be held onto dearly, after all, who has ever spoken of having too many trustworthy and respectable individuals in their circle?

A mental connection, however, is not something we learn, gain, or necessarily bestow upon others from an early age. It's either there or it's not. And while it appears that most that share these connections are similar in age, many are of a very different, too. Ever heard of someone being referred to as an old soul? How about wise beyond their years? Also, women tend to mature more quickly then men in terms of development. Those factors alone or combined are instances that can make for a dramatic gap in age, yet a powerful mental connection filled with great intellectual stimulation.

Like a mental connection, a physical connection is either there or it's not. It's not just about sexual intimacy, it's about the spark touch alone can ignite - from simply holding hands or hugging, for example. Although, looks inevitably change over time, a physical connection undoubtedly has the power to withstand it. A physical connection is often enhanced by that of the mental and may go hand in hand for some, along with trust and respect as well. However, the reverse may potentially occur with a lack thereof.

Lastly, who exactly is it in society that's saying it's wrong for women to date substantially older men? Is it older single women upset that their peers are being taken off the market? Is it younger single men that feel they can't compete with the lifelong professional and financial advances a middle-aged man has to offer? These are specific examples of standpoints based off personal agendas rather than morale and should carefully be considered before one sides with the majority opinion.

If all the pieces to the relationship puzzle interlock for both members of the party involved, where is the logic in dismissing it all together because of an age difference? Age difference is irrelevant to the recipe of success, and if anything a couple who grew up decades apart may be beneficial, offering new and expansive insights, promoting open-mindedness and furthermore broadening the mind.

Published by Jane

A jane of all trades working to be a master of one.  View profile

  • Evaluate trust and respect levels
  • Account for mental and physical connections
  • Consider personal agendas vs. morale
It might not hurt to try dating older men if you previously haven't, considering the nation's current divorce rates!

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  • junejune0096/19/2009

    I think i am starting to love a guy 26 years older than me. but im eighteen, i know it sounds bad. but we talk we get along, we trust each other, we have fun talking to each other i can talk to him about anything. it's nice and he said that he had an oppurtunity to move to west virgnia. and he said the only thing thast would keep him here was me? WHat exactly does it mean? How old are you tattwo???

  • tattwo8/17/2007

    That was some good read. I date older men. However, the ones that I've dated are somewhat imtimidated by because I am independent. Age is only an number. I've met men in there 40's that no more mature then men in their 20's. I guess it really depends of the person.

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