Dating & Relationships: Falling in Need Instead of in Love

We all like the idea of "Falling In Love", but is it always love or can it be you have "Fallen In Need?" Women can sometimes convince themselves they truly love a man and they have fallen in love, However, sometimes, they have just fallen in need. I thought I would explore some of the instances where women fall into need, instead of in love.

A Warm Body-

I'm sure most of you have heard of this one, even if it was said as a joke. You know the old "She doesn't care who it is, just that she has a warm body next to her". Well, this is a sad scenario indeed. It's true some women cannot stand to be alone, and as long as the guys not to bad, he will do. This woman never learned to be on her own, and enjoy her own company and life, without someone else being there. I actually know some one personally that ends up with the worse men imaginable. As long as someone is there that's all that matters. This type of woman has no confidence that she can handle whatever life throws her on her own. How sad she is missing out on finding out who she is, and who she could be without a terminal sidekick around.

Check Please-

As long as the guy brings home a paycheck that's all that matters. After all in her mind the second paycheck keeps her from needlessly being uncomfortable. She can't imagine living, and functioning on her money alone. She never learned that struggling can actually be rewarding, and teach us to stand alone, persevere, and feel proud when we make ends meet. She fears being destitute so much, that what she falls in love with is a provider, and paycheck rather than a man.

Sex in The City/Country/Anywhere-

This woman needs sex on a regular basis to feel good about herself. She can't imagine going without sex any length of time. She will choose a guy, any guy, as long as he likes to have sex. The woman doesn't fall in love, she falls into bed. She thinks what she is feeling is the elation of love, but instead she is feeling her hormones racing for the next session of sex. She confuses her physical needs with her emotional needs. I actually knew a woman who stayed with a man who became verbally abusive a lot longer than she should have, so as not to lose the wonderful sex they were having. She knew she really didn't love him, she just needed the sex.

Daddy Please-

This is a sad scenario, not so much for her kids, but for herself. All his resume had to say is that he loved kids, and was willing to take care of hers. She doesn't fall in love with who this man is as a partner and companion, but just as a Daddy for her kids. She gets tired of taking care of her kids on her own. It's too overwhelming for her to emotionally deal with them alone. She can't imagine raising her kids without a father. The men she's really attracted too, don't ever seem right to be the father of her kids. Rather than keep waiting for the all around perfect guy to come along, which may be quite a wait, she sells out to the Father Of The Year, and leaves her desires behind. She may eventually learn to care and maybe even fall in love with this guy, but her agenda in the beginning is the best father for her kids.

How sad that some women fall into need, rather than in love. Don't they know that if you truly love someone, and they love you, everything will fall in to place? I say never sell out, because if you're with a person out of need, instead of out of real love, what you have isn't worth keeping!

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