Dating and Relationships: Is an Office Romance a Bad Idea?

Should romance be allowed to bloom where e'er its seed is planted? If so, does that include at the office? Or, is it better for love to start ... and finish ... in a personal setting? Psychology Today states that 41% of employees in the 25-40 age bracket have had an involvement in an office romance, and that number is on the rise.

Having watched a happily-ever-after romance turn into a hate-you-forever animosity at an office where I worked, I'll share a few tips on why an office romance is a bad idea.

Fraternization rules are not meant to be broken. Believe it or not, some companies have a rule prohibiting romantic fraternization between employees. Whether written or unwritten (as was the case where I worked), breaking the rule will get an employee into big trouble. The seeds of romance may start to grow, but a wise person will deprive it of sunlight and let it die. Engaging in an office romance can cost the individuals involved their jobs.

Coworkers don't want to hear about it. Couples in love are never able to keep their romance a secret. Yes, almost everyone thinks it's cute that there's an office romance ... cute for about two weeks. After that, coworkers start taking bets as to when the romance will end, or wishing it had ended yesterday so that they don't have to hear about it anymore. And if the work place has a fraternization ruling, work friends who know about the romance are put in a bad position in trying to keep it quiet.

Not all romances end happily ever after. In the particular office romance that I witnessed, two people started dating but kept it under wraps. There wasn't a written policy on the matter, but office romances were discouraged. In the case of this love story, the man was the woman's indirect supervisor. The romance went swimmingly for a bit, and then cooled on the guy's part, but the gal remained interested. She continued to phone, talk, and flirt with him, all the while wondering what went wrong. The romance cooled even more, hurt feelings developed on her part, and an intense desire to escape developed on his. Fortunately for him, a career opportunity opened up and he moved 100+ miles away, mostly to flee the problem. However, since they both worked in the same career field, they still ended up interacting with each other. Talk about an uncomfortable situation!

Everyone takes sides. From my observations, office love affairs end unhappily more often than not. When the romance dies, coworkers end up taking sides. Tension increases as the lovers quarrel and ultimately end the romance. Worse yet, employees that once were friends'"including the estranged couple'"are now at odds with each other. When that happens, office productivity drops and very few employees come out unscathed.

For those who are fans of "The Office," Pam and Jim had a lovely romance that culminated in marriage. But, don't forget that Pam broke up with another coworker, Roy, and dumped him before dating Jim, which created hurt feelings. If that isn't convincing enough, there's one other thing to mention ... "The Office" is television; it's not real life. In real life, an office romance usually leaves two broken hearts and a trail of damaged friendships in its wake.

Love stories by this author (and nope, they don't take place at the office):

An Irish Love Story, "The Heart that has Truly Loved"
A Romantic, End-of-Summer Short Story with a Surprise, "A Whisper in the Wind"

Sources:
David F. Swink, "I Love My Boss: Office Romances," PsychologyToday.com.