Dating: How to Spot a Jerk in No Time

1) The "all about me" guy. You know the type. He talks and talks about himself. He won't even ask anything about you. If he does happen to ask a question to you, he will barely pause to hear the answer.

He says he has a great job. He gets paid great. His house is great. Of course he has the best house. Everybody loves him. Funny, why don't you love him?

2) The guy who makes plans and at the last minute asks you to drive. One time is fine. No problem. But there is something fishy when he says he is going to drive and there is always an excuse as to why he cannot take his vehicle.

Either he's too cheap or he wants to get drunk and let you suffer driving home an intoxicated date. The good part is you are keeping a drunk off of the road for other drivers. The bad part is this is probably the type of man you don't want to be with.

3) The man who says he loves you almost immediately. He makes you feel good about yourself. You know it cannot be true, yet you want to believe it. (Deep down you wonder how many other ladies he's said this to right off of the bat.)

He sends you poetry and love songs through the computer or snail mail. He calls you just to say he loves you and wanted to hear your voice. Slowly but surely you fall for him. Then the controlling starts.

He doesn't want you with anyone else. He wants to keep you all to himself. He may even say, "I wish I could lock you in a closet" to keep you safe to myself. Warning ladies! Do not pass go, bolt! He'll say he "just loves you so much" and does not want anything to happen to you. He wouldn't be able to live without you, after all, you are his life. (Hmmm, what did he do just two weeks ago before you met him?)

If you do not run, he will be checking your every move. Where did you go? What time did you leave? Who were you talking to?

Soon you won't see your girlfriends for girl's night out. If you had guy friends, forget it. They are history. He will give you some bologna story about how he trusts you, but not the guy. Truthfully, he's just insecure. When did you go to the grocery store? How many times did you use the restroom? Okay the last one was sarcastic, but you get my drift.

4) The guy who loves to hunt everything and fish. Okay, there is nothing wrong with this guy. Just be prepared to have a lot of your money go for this sport. Also, come hunting season expect to be alone a lot unless you want to hunt, too. In the future if you have children, expect to be with them raising them alone during the season. Fishing season, he's gone a lot, too. If you don't want to be with your spouse much, this guy is for you.

5) The "I know everything" guy. Bring up a subject and he knows all about it. It happened to him or his parents. You tell a fact on something, he'll always have a more interesting story even if he has to lie about it.

6) The guy that treats you like a queen and his mother like yesterday's trash. Steer very clear of this guy! You know the old saying, "The way a man treats his mother, is the way he will treat you." Don't let it fool you.

7) The "men dominate over women" guy. He is still stuck in the "Leave It To Beaver" era. I'm surprised that there are still men around like this. They need to be extinct.

8) The "user." He tries anything to get his way with you.

9) The "metrosexual" guy. This guy can be nice as he is sensitive. The bad thing is he will be using your hairspray, paying monthly to have manicures and pedicures, and possibly crying more at chick flicks than you do.

10) The "yes man." He says what you want to hear even if it's a lie. He does this to everyone. One person will get one story; another person will get another answer. He wants to keep everyone happy. This is fine and dandy at first, but when people start talking, they know he's lying to one of them! A lot of times it will be you!

Keep trying ladies! There really are a lot of nice men out there. I am fortunate to have found a wonderful man. We've been married for twenty two years at the end of this month. I wrote this as a tribute to him. I am so lucky I found a man who treats me as his equal. We both work full-time. We both share the house duties. He does most of the cooking. He does all of the dishes. I do the laundry for five people. We both take care of our dog and cat. He actually changes the cat liter! (That all started when I was pregnant, ten years ago! I offered to take liter changing back, but he is fine with it.)

Clues as to how I could tell he was going to make an excellent husband:

1) Our second date he cooked a steak on the grill and had me over for dinner at his parent's house when they were out of town. (He cooks and enjoys it!)

2) We were at his parents and we had fun at his house. I felt very relaxed with him. He didn't even try to kiss me until he dropped me off back home for a goodnight kiss. (Laid back person, not a pressure person.)

3) He treated his parents with a lot of respect. (A+)

4) When his parents went out of town he always made sure after having people over for dinner, including friends, the house was in better shape than when his parents left! That still floors me for a guy in his early twenties! (He CLEANS!!!!)

5) He was and still is a friendly guy to everyone. He makes people laugh. (Nice personality! He has a sense of humor!)

I hope I didn't offend anyone. I probably won't let my dad read this. He is addicted to hunting and fishing! I love my dad but I am glad my husband isn't obsessed with those two sports!