Dating Tips for the Disabled

When you are looking for love, you are bound to find more advice than you could possibly handle. Everyone tells you what to look for, where to go, and how to act. Unless of course, you are disabled then the words of wisdom don't seem to flow as fast. Well there are some things to keep in mind when you are disabled and looking for love.

Learn to distinguish concern from pity. When you are disabled you spend a good portion of your time and your life proving yourself. You have to prove to your family, friends, community, and to yourself that you can do any and everything you will need to do in order to take care of yourself. After years of striving for independence, you start to detest pity. And as a disabled person, you know pity when you hear it, see it, and feel it. Unfortunately for someone trying to date you this will pose a problem. Because most people are nervous around the disabled until they learn your personality. So at first, their concern may seem like pity to you, because you are that's what you are used to. Come down off your high horse. It's ok; it's a learning process. No one will know the extent of your abilities right away.

Be able to laugh through the awkward moments. Dating and relationships bring two people closer together than a disabled person may be used to. There are often sides of yourself or your disability that you are not comfortable with showing others. The good news is that a great relationship will decrease this self-consciousness. The bad news is that there will be many awkward moments in between. The best way to get through them is to laugh. Laughter decreases the oddness and it shows the other person that you have a great sense of humor about your situation. The ability to laugh at you presents an easygoing nature that potential mates will enjoy.

Know the difference between interest and infatuation. Just because you are disabled doesn't mean you are going to genuinely like everyone that likes you. Yet, if you haven't had a lot of experience dating you may not realize it. Sometimes you are so blinded by the attention that you don't see the reality of a situation. Infatuation is fleeting; it's based on things that won't last, like lust, money, or false images. If you can be completely comfortable around this person it could be genuine interest. If you have to mask, hide, or down play your situation odds are its just an infatuation. I wouldn't tell you not to have a little fun, because infatuation is a lot of fun. But, be sure to see it for what it is, and don't allow your heart to be broken.

Don't allow yourself to be used. There are people out there who will try to take advantage of your inexperience with relationships. These people will pretend to like or even love you just so they can get things out of you. Maybe they need to borrow money all of the time; or, they may need somewhere to live; where rent is free. Relationships are a two-way street. If you find that you are the only one giving, you are being used. It's hard to come to terms with being used because you are often trading monetary gain for emotional or physical favors. Yet here is where your true friends and family come in handy, because these are the people you know love you. If your friends and family feel that your mate is no good or using you, they will let you know. Your job is to listen.

Dating isn't easy for anyone. Yet, disabled daters find themselves limping at little slower around the bases than the average person.