Another reason is kids are honest and open to a fault. Do you really want them to tell the next potential Mrs. Right about her predecessors? Especially if one or more of them were for entertainment purposes only. This can only turn out badly, especially if there are many "entertainment only" dates.
You also don't want the kids to get attached to someone you don't really like. Remember, you already have a mother and unless your name is Oedipus you don't want to marry her. The qualities that make a good mother don't always make a good wife. You need to find a woman who has the qualities of both. Since you plan on having her around longer than the kids, it's more important that she suits you, so she has to win you over before she gets to meet the kids.
Internet dating is one way to get back into the scene. It allows you to meet many people in one spot. With chatting and emailing you can hopefully weed out the nutbags without having to waste the time and money on them, and believe me, with kids, time and money are the two things you can't afford to waste. If someone, after ten minutes of chatting, starts making plans for spending the weekend with you, she may not be the one. Chat with them as much as possible over the next week or two. If the conversation doesn't flow easily, it probably won't on a date either. Make sure you have both seen pictures of each other before actually meeting. The reality is never as good as the fantasy. Even with pictures, some people photograph better than others.
The bottom line is you are not just dating for yourself. Unless they are about to leave the nest, your children will be spending quite a bit of time with this person, too. So try to keep all of this in mind when you're out on a date. Above all else, think with your brain. That's what it's there for.
Published by David Carney
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