Dating Tips for Single Parents

There is a reason why being married to your kids' ''other parent" is a good idea. To put it simply, dating as a single parent is crazy. If you share my personal opinion about the matter, then you're probably one of many single parents who believe that dating and your children should be kept separate from each other. Should you commit to the decision to keep your boyfriends/girlfriends apart from your kids, you will find yourself faced with a host of complications.

First and perhaps most frustrating is the challenge of scheduling. You will have to find a babysitter for your children every time you go out with your partner. If you hire a babysitter, you may find that the charges add up unpleasantly, especially if you are seeing someone regularly.

If you have family close by, you could always ask them to watch the children for you. It will be a lot easier on your wallet, although if you do this on a regular basis, you may sometimes feel that you are imposing on your relatives. It is probable to say that your family would be glad to spend time with your kids. If you set aside a day of the week and ask your mom, sister, etc. to watch them that day, then short notice will not be an issue.

The downside to this is the lack of spontaneity. It is very important for you to talk to your partner to make sure that he/she understands that your responsibilities may limit your freedom some. This is especially true if you and/or your partner are younger and not yet past that "partying" age.

Also important for your partner to understand are the reasons behind why you do not want him or her to meet your children. If this topic is not discussed, it is likely that he/she will think that you do not trust him/her. So what are your reasons for keeping your kids apart from your partners? Is it to ensure that your children will not attach themselves to your partner because most relationships do not last? Do you want to create a sense of security in your kids' lives and so do not want them to see you dating different people? Are you trying to make sure that your relationship is serious before you expose your kids to a potential role model? Whatever your reasons may be, make sure you make it clear to your partner that it is not a reflection of your relationship or your feelings that he/she has not met your kids. It is about what makes you feel more comfortable in this particular situation.

You have to pay attention to your feelings in any dating scenario, but doing so is important for this one in particular. Your emotions could very well ruin your experience if you don't. For example, you will likely feel guilty for taking time out of your week to spend with your partner. That is time that you're taking away from your children, after all. As a parent, you have to feel this way, but that does not mean that it's an accurate way to view the situation. If you were to let this feeling take precedence, the logical choice would be to stop dating. If you believe that you can do so and remain happy, then go right ahead. If the case is otherwise, then consider the facts. It happy parent is a good parent. Your kids will not be damaged by you taking a day out of the week to spend with your partner.

Also realize that there comes a point when family and your love life can no longer continue apart from each other. Maybe you see your partner too often these days. Maybe you've just reached that point in your relationship. Whenever you decide to let your partner meet your kids, keep in mind that it doesn't have to be that big of a deal. Introduce him/her to your children as your friend and refrain from cuddling, kissing, or holding hands in the beginning. Limit the time that they spend with each other and then gradually increase.

If you and your ex are on good terms, or even if you've not, make sure you let him or her know that you've let your partner meet your kids. Your decisions are not subject to their approval, but for obvious reasons, your ex should be made aware that you've let a new, possibly influential person into their lives.

Enjoy your relationship, and good luck with the rest! It's all very much worth it.