Dating Tips for Someone with Attention Deficit Disorder

Dating can be challenging for someone that has Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). To help understand what some of those dating challenges are for someone with ADD and dating tips for someone with ADD, I have interviewed therapist Leslie Rouder.

Tell me a little bit about yourself.
"I am a Licensed Therapist practicing in Boca Raton, Florida who specializes in the assessment and treatment of ADHD. I also do couples counseling, especially as it applies to ADHD and its effects on relationships. In addition to my work in the field of ADHD I also treat anxiety, depression, and work around loss and grief."

What are some of the dating challenges someone with ADD may face?
"The following are some reasons that make dating challenging for someone that has ADD: difficulty with time management, disorganization, being short tempered, impulsive behavior, being emotionally over reactive, inability to communicate clearly, forgetfulness, high level of frustration, hurtful outbursts and not being able to keep ones physical space in order."

What kind of impact can those challenges have on someone who has ADD?
"One of the biggest impacts of these challenges is often the way it affects one's self esteem. Not having one's life in order often makes one feel that he (or she) is not in control or he/she may feel inadequate. (Especially if dating or married to a partner who is very efficient) Often people will go on the defensive or the offensive to cover their sense of 'inadequacy'. The other impact that is seen is just the amount of turmoil and personal crisis that is often experienced on a daily basis. It all can take a big toll on ones relationships. Sadly, individuals with ADD have higher rate of divorce than those without it."

What are some dating tips you can give someone that has ADD?
"If you are struggling with some of the above issues, it is important to educate yourself about ADD and how it may be directly affecting your life. Seek counseling and or coaching with an ADD expert and explore various treatment options. If possible, bring your partner into the process so that he or she also understands how the ADD may be impacting the relationship. It is important to understand what part of a particular behavior may be explained by the ADD and what part is not. The tendency to personalize someone's not listening or paying attention, for example is often seen a big source of frustration for the non-ADD partner. We are not looking for excuses for behavior, but explanations that can better serve the relationship."

What type of professional help is available for someone that has ADD and is having a difficult time in the dating scene?
"As mentioned above, seek help from a therapist or coach that is an expert on ADD. Attend adult ADD support groups, if available in your community. Join CHADD and attend their free support groups so that you can learn as much as possible about ADD and various resources for treatment."

Thank you Leslie for doing the interview on dating tips for someone with ADD. For more information on Leslie Rouder or her work you can check out her website on www.ADDadults.net.

Recommended Readings:
Attention Deficit Disorder Relationship Challenges
How to Deal with an ADHD Spouse
ADHD Impact on Couples