Dating the Woman of Your Dreams

Dating is never easy. Ask anyone who came before our generation and they'll tell you the same thing. Modern times have varied the dating methods slightly with the arrival of personal ads, online matchmaking and "speed-dating", but the old-fashioned form of asking someone you know out on a date still prevails. Regardless of how someone chooses to find a date, the very word can strike fear into the most stalwart individual. Men are especially, but not surprisingly, prone to anxiety on a date as we attempt to strike a balance between maintaining a gentlemanly attitude and respecting her independence. Every man thinks he knows the key to a successful date, but all too often they're sorely lacking important information. What's the point in knowing her favorite restaurant and meal if you don't even brush your teeth first? Such a case may be an exaggeration (at least I hope it is), but the truth is guys forget simple things all the time that would make a dramatic difference on the date-and the "special someone" they're trying to impress.

Hygiene is always important, even moreso when you're trying to make a good impression on someone. A thorough shower with a snappy haircut and aftershave that won't kill everyone around you will go a long way in displaying confidence and success. If you already shaved in the morning but your date is at 8 PM, shave again-even if you don't feel any stubble or think it's not noticeable; Murphy's Law states that if you think no one will notice, they will. The same thing goes for clothing with holes in the wrong places: you don't have to wear Armani to look your best, but make sure your outfit is clean and wrinkle-free. Contrary to what the movies will have you believe, looking like a slob is not an endearing quality to women.

If you really want to give the impression that you care, nothing will do this better than showing up for the date on time. "Fashionably late" has no place in the dating scene. You value your time, and she values her time, so acknowledging this up front will score you points early in the game. It will also show her you're reliable and a man of your word, two very attractive qualities.

"When the mouth is open, the ears are closed." How many times did we hear that phrase growing up? Well, it's actually true: the more we talk, the less we listen to those around us. There are few things less appealing to a woman than a potential mate who doesn't know enough to shut up for ten minutes and listen to her. No matter how witty you think you are, all the words and intelligent sayings in the world just can't take the place of a willing ear and an effort to actually understand what's being said. Don't assume a woman can't tell when you aren't listening or are patiently waiting for her to finish so you can start talking again; they seem to have a sixth sense about those things (not to mention you'll want to have an answer ready when she quizzes you on a conversation you had earlier that night.)

Along with verbal communication, body language is something you need to learn to interpret if you can't already. Body language can speak volumes even when the lips are silent, and can tell you immediately if she's interested in you or would rather be somewhere else. It can also tell you if you need to back up and not come on so strong, or if she wants you to be more (or less) aggressive. You'd do well to pay attention to these non-verbal cues, as they could easily determine the success of asking her out again.

In today's politically correct world, many guys hesitate to show any kind of gentleman-like behavior, but nothing's wrong with displaying a little chivalry: open the door for her, pull her chair out, and let her know how nice her hair looks. If she gets offended, assure her you're only trying to treat her like the lady she is. This follows through even to the time you get the dinner bill. Assume you'll be paying for all of it, but if she objects, offer to go half-and-half. You can even agree on this step in advance if it suits you.

Don't waste money on countless dating books if you're still having trouble with the basics; master the basics first. You may even find that these tips along with your wit and personality will be enough to attract the mate of your dreams.