Dating in the Workplace

You're at work one day and someone catches your eye. You smile a shy smile and quickly look away, or grin really big and make your self really noticeable. You feel a warm flush come over you as the two of you exchange friendly yet flirty banter. "Can I take you out to lunch" are the magic words you have been waiting to hear and you excitedly accept. A lunch date then turns into dinner a few days later and you suddenly realize, wow, I want to date this person. We have so much in common and get along so well. With lots of similar interests, particularly because you both work at the same company it seems like the perfect idea. But dating in the workplace can be very tricky business. Here are some guidelines to follow to make that perfect idea work.

Don't date everyone who asks you out. Particularly don't feel pressured because they are your coworker and you fear a refusal will cause an uncomfortable work environment. Be just as selective in the workplace as you would any other place you might meet a potential partner.

When dating that special someone at work, you both need to remain professional in the work environment. While in each others company restrain from any public physical displays of affection. Especially if the relationship is new. Those gossipers at the water cooler would love to catch a glimpse of the two of you displaying even the smallest amount of affection to fuel their gossip mill. All you need is one jealous and unreasonable coworker to see a little something and watch out for the cry of "unprofessional" and "favoritism" to be sounded.

Another, more specific, guideline to dating in the workplace is refrain from sending love notes. Whether handwritten or through email. You wouldn't want your boss to inadvertently see the note you left on your paramours desk describing how "wonderful the kiss was last night". And how many times have you heard that an email was erroneously sent to the wrong person? Imagine the fallout should one of your coworkers read an email that describes your innermost feelings of love (and even lust).

Going public about your relationship can also be tricky. Depending on the relationship with your supervisor or boss, letting them know might be a good idea. It may help to quell any rumors that may have made there way to your boss's ear and prove that you are still the honest and intelligent person you have always been. A short discussion acknowledging your awareness of the pitfalls of dating in the workplace will put your boss's mind at ease at take the focus off the "scandalous affair" and return all thoughts back to the business of the day.

A very important guideline to dating in the workplace is to discuss your new relationship with your partner. Talk about how the both of you will behave in the workplace. Decide on whom you can trust and whom you must be careful around. Set guidelines regarding phone calls, the use of pet names, and meeting for lunch. Discuss how you both would handle a disagreement, whether it be personal or professional. Dating exclusively or not is also a must for the discussion.

Although it may seem to have more negatives than positives, dating in the workplace can work. Remembering that your workplace is just that... a place to work is key to a successful relationship with a coworker. Keeping these guidelines to workplace dating in place, adjusting them as the relationship changes, and remembering to always be professional is a great way to ensure a smooth and healthy business and personal relationship.