David Archuleta, Neil Diamond, and God

In the beginning, God created the heaven, the earth and...David Archuleta? Wait a second. Is that right? Let me grab a Bible and see what I come up with. Okay, I'm going to flip to Genesis and see what I find. There's the part with the heavens, so that's covered. Yeah, there is earth. Now let's see...Archuleta...Archuleta.... No, I can't seem to find his name in here. That can't be right. Surely, somewhere among these words, there has to be a David Archuleta. What? There isn't? Not even a mention of American Idol? Does Randy know? What about Paula? Simon seems as if he might be catching on that little David Archuleta is not the second coming of Christ, so he must have gotten the memo. Bibles all around! Print it in the newspapers. When word of this gets out, things are surely going to change. Up until now, people have just been confused. They have thought little David could do no wrong. But now they will realize that the occasional leather pants wearing, constant lip licking, inspirational easy listening singing David Archuleta is actually not God. That must mean that he is not perfect, and he can do wrong.

All second coming of Christ theories aside, it was an interesting night on American Idol. It has finally gotten to the best part of the season, where the American Idol contestants get to sing two songs as opposed to one. It is make or break time on American Idol. Some choke under the pressure, some shine, while others call in the exact same performance both times. David Archuleta falls into the category of repeat performances.

David Archuleta started off his night by singing Sweet Caroline. Sweet Caroline is a Neil Diamond classic. It's one of those songs that everyone has heard a million times. After tonight's American Idol, everyone can now say they've heard it a million and one times. That is, of course, because little David Archuleta did little to change things up in the song. When a song is as recognizable as Sweet Caroline, an artist either needs to avoid it or change it. David Archuleta slowed it down in parts, but he did not do too much to make it his own. The performance gave the feel of a high school musical. Not THE High School Musical, but the kind where everyone is sitting in seats they made before stadium seating and waiting for the junior high kid handling the lights to finally hit his mark. Simon called it amateurish, and he could not have put it better. It was the performance of an amateur.

Of course, Randy thought the performance was hot. It can be guessed that Randy wrote down that critique without actually listening to it. There is nothing hot about watching a seventeen year old boy singing a song as if it's the high school presentation of Annie Get Your Gun. If David Archuleta would have broken out in a rendition of Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better, I would not have been surprised. Of course, Randy still would have thought it was hot, Paula would have still mumbled incoherently into her beverage conspicuously disguised as Coke, and Simon would have rolled his eyes. Bless you Simon, for finally beginning to see the light.

David Archuleta got a second chance tonight. He chose the song America. As Simon said, it was a smart choice. David Archuleta took that as a compliment. However, most will realize that it was a rather sarcastic comment. David Archuleta's song choice was smart in the same way that Kristy Lee Cook was smart when she sang God Bless America. It's like saying "love me, I'm a patriot." Hey, this is American Idol, right? We are at war, right? Then golly gee, I love America, and now I would like to sing a song.

Americawas a goofy performance, to put it nicely. David Archuleta performed it in the exact same way he performed Sweet Caroline. His stage presence never changes.

Simon called David Archuleta out on his song choice craftiness, but of course, Randy and Paula loved it. Now, Randy is Randy. He will love anything that kid does. Paula does not count tonight, because she tried to critique the performers on two songs, when at that point they had only sang one. Apparently, Paula was not paying attention.

It has come to the point that David Archuleta could probably come out on stage, belch The Star Spangled Banner, get rousing applause, and have Randy declare it the bomb. The special treatment of David Archuleta needs to come to an end. It is getting embarrassing, and causing American Idol to lose credibility.

Even with a weak performance, David Archuleta does not have to worry about his time on American Idol coming to an end. He has secured a fan base, and until the message about the Bible gets out, he has no real worries.