Daycare in America: "hanging Yourself with Your Own Rope"

There are many things in American society which may have initially begun with a positive concept, but throughout time has gone so far off its intended mark that not only does it bear no resemblance to its original purpose, the current purpose is nothing short of destructive.

In 1965, the Head Start program came into effect. Based on the concept-- which is sometimes true and more often not-- that people who have "less money" are decidedly disadvantaged in all other areas of their lives, the original plan of this program was to help "break the cycle of poverty." Begun as an eight-week summer program, it was designed to give "economically-disadvantaged" preschoolers a 'head start' with their educations, as well as covering the notion that having less money meant these youngsters needed extra help with socializing and meals.

Having been around in those days, I can easily remember how well such a concept did NOT go over in the area where I lived. My neighbors had a little cousin who often joined us at play; when he failed to appear one day, we asked the grown-ups where he was, and they answered in a whisper as if it were something to be ashamed of: "Georgie is at Head Start!" It was something which simply "was not done." Not long after, when we found that an out-of-state relative was attempting to place her one-year-old in a daycare, we were aghast, just could not comprehend why anyone would do such a thing, especially as one person commented "her husband makes good money!" Well, the area where I lived then is essentially the same now-- people generally do not see "handing one's child over to the daily care of others" as being in any way positive.

Unfortunately I have relocated to an area where daycare is not considered optional, but "the only way." It covers people from all economic groups, and each group has its own philosophy regarding why it is necessary. Looking at those varieties of theories can be summed up as "hanging themselves with their own rope." The backlash is that not only are young mothers not presented with the idea of taking care of their own child being a good thing, the few who "buck the trend" and do so anyway become the recipients of mud-slinging to make them very uncomfortable about their unpopular "choice."

How do these folks "hang themselves"? Let's look at some of the rationalizations, and also the facts. The loudest proclamation you will likely hear is "Mothers NEED TO work!" Oh really? Says who? Let's look closer, at the reasons some give for this opinion. On the most widespread scale, this line is used to cover single mothers. However, that line falls apart when you take a closer look at the subject of single mothers; and there are two possibilities. First, it has become more and more common for those in this group to be single solely because they "choose" to. No one is telling them that it is not necessarily a good idea. Kids get the message from their peers that there is nothing wrong with having babies while still in high school; and the "modern" welfare system encourages these girls to remain single-- put your six-week-old infant in daycare, and get out into the workforce! In this manner, a "mother" is nothing but a paycheck, a "father" is but government-ordered child-support, and while it only pushes young mothers and their children further into poverty, it also eliminates the possibility of them taking care of their own babies.

On the other side of the single mothers scale, there are instances where some remain single due to circumstances beyond their control, rather than mere "choice." This is rarely in anyone's best interest either, but there are circumstances which necessitate it.

However, regardless of how a person "becomes" a single mother, there are options other than daycare. Many may dismiss such options because they are not "easy" enough, or just because they "choose" to dismiss them. One option is to find a job where one is allowed to take the child to work with her. Another is to find work that can be done from home; and the growing popularity of the internet has made this option more and more available. The bottom line is it is very rare for a mother to find no options whatsoever, if she actually looks.

Another "Mothers NEED TO work!" comes from those who assert that the cost-of-living is so high that even married couples "cannot manage on one paycheck." Is 'hogwash' a polite word? The first "hang yourself" on this notion is that unless you are in one of the most highest costs-of-living locations in the United States, and/or are so unskilled and under-educated that you must make-do with the lowest-paying jobs, there is no fact in this. Quite frankly, when people talk of educated, skilled, two-parent families where a mother 'needs to work,' they are generally referring to people who are not satisfied unless they have "all and everything." In the old days it was called 'keeping up with the Joneses'-- the "gotta have it" state of mind where possessions are more important than one's children.

Elaborating on the topic is the fact that "daycare" comes in a number of forms. These forms are divided between the groups. A girl who stated that her form of daycare was ''Grandma' was no different from many others like her-- allow Grandma the responsibility of caring for the child, because she herself "chooses" to remain single. The popular government-subsidized daycares are there for the young girls who are told by their local welfare department that they must 'hand over their baby and go to work.' No one is presenting them with any other alternatives. You can also find more upscale, expensive daycare centers; a girl who remarked about a working couple who had to deal with these "high-cost" daycares was a great example of "hanging oneself"-- if people manage to cover such expensive means of childcare, why doesn't a person just stay at home and take care of the child herself?

Bottom line: in almost every situation, with the rarest of exceptions, daycare is NOT about "economic necessity," it is about "choice." And one might be tempted to assert that when a person, of her own free will, makes the decision to bring a child into the world, the "choice" about that child's everyday care has been made in that decision-- it's your responsibility.