DEAD-END

It is hard to live your dream. It is hard to try and make a living while living your dream. Especially when you have other people to answer to, and are responsible to keep them happy..

Once upon a time there was a beautiful raven-haired little girl by the name of Bella. She dreamt of becoming an actress, or maybe, marry a prince and become a princess. She lived day by day, playing games of being a famous actress or a beautiful princess.

This little girl grew up in a very protective environment. Her father and mother loved her very, very much and she was a very special little girl. You see, she was ill, and from the tender age of only 2 and a half years, had to take medicine. She was not allowed to do lots of stuff that kids do. She always had to be kept calm; her sport could only be played up to a certain level.

When she was 12 years old, the family visited friends for the weekend. Bella was excited - she was going to see her best friend in the whole world again! And yes it was one of the most exciting weekends for the two little girls..Bella and Tanya never went to sleep, had midnight feast and played till all hours of he morning.

The next day, Bella and her family had to return home - a 5 hour drive in those days! Bella didn't sleep much on the trip, and when they arrived home, she immediately went to her neighbour's house, where her other friend, Carien, was waiting. Bella took her doll that Tanya gave her with, and played with Carien on their front lawn until Carien's mom called her at 6 pm to come and have dinner.

As Bella walked into Carien's home, she suddenly said: " Gee, there's a dark spot in front of my eye, I can't see properly!"

They walked into the kitchen and Carien's father prayed for the food. Bella said her goodnights and walked out of the kitchen door. She had to cross the lawn to get to her own home.

As she stepped out of the back door, she stepped off the cement paving at the back and "tripped" onto the grass. Not uncommon of Bella to be clumsy sometimes, she tried to stand up. Bella fell down a second time...and a third, and realized that something was wrong. Faintly she cried: "He-elp me!"
As Carien's father picked her up from the ground and rushed with Bella to her home, she passed out.

Bella had a stroke.

For two weeks, her mom sat next to Bella and cried, holding her hand and wiped her head. Bella was unconscious and lame on the right side of her body. During the two week period she regained consciousness a couple of times, just to fade into the blackness again. Once, when she opened her eyes, she saw her mom beside her. She asked where Carien was, because she felt Carien's hand on hers. In fact, it was Bella's own lame right hand that she felt on her left hand. After Bella finally woke up after two weeks, the first person she saw again was her mom.

"Don't worry, mama, I will be okay.." she tried to comfort her mom.

Bella recovered from her stroke and lameness.

Today, Bella is again in the situation where she has to comfort her mom. Bella's dad is in intensive care. No one knows for sure if he is going to make it, and if he does, what will his state of health be. The thing is, it was the effect of medicine - or the lack of knowledge thereof, rather - that slowly broke Bella's father down to a tired, sickly old man.

Bella is strongwilled and desperate. She has to lookout for her parents, and also for her son, who is turning 21 this year. But how does one do this if your source of income is so little? How does one cope with everything if you are 44, and do not have a steady income, cannot go to work from 9 - 5 because of your commitments and responsibilities?

Beside all of the hardships Bella has known through the last couple of years, she has never given up on her dream of becoming an actress (maybe marrying a prince was a bit farfetched!)

Through all of this, she has realised one of her life-long dreams - to become a published writer. She also started singing, and still hoping to complete her cd - one-day...she wanted to record the cd because her father could never make a recording. He was one of the most talented singers of his time. And now, he might never hear the cd.

But in the end, all Bella really want for herself, is always to be able to say thank you for what she has, by and while pursuing all she must and want to be, so all those who learn to know her will benefit from what she is becoming and going to be.

You see, a couple of years ago, Bella realized what her purpose in life is - and to be able to fulfill her purpose, she needs to earn lots and lots of money. For only then will she be able to do what she has to do. Like when she realized that she has been helping people since the very young age of 5 years, when her very best friend named Tanya came to her for advice. She realized she had a gift, and that she must trust God to lead the way so that she can use her gift to help others....

Yes, it is difficult to live your dreams, especially if you have people around you that is killing them all the time. People whom you thought are the closest, or are supposed to be the closest to you, wanting to force their will of power upon you. And in the end, in the end you have to sit back and let it happen, be the least, let him walk over me...