Dealing with Adult Bullies on the Baseball Field

Q: I am a little league coach and I recently had an episode that really disturbed me. While coaching a kid-pitch game (10-12 year olds) one of the parents got really upset with me. I'm used to having some yell from the sidelines but this one actually entered the dugout and pushed me. I was able to lure the parent out of the dugout - away from the kids - but I needed to continue walking away. Another parent came and took over my coaching in the dugout and I walked away for a few minutes to collect myself. When I returned the kids were fine and the other parents told me the belligerent parent yelled at the kids for a few minutes then left leaving their spouse to take his kid home. The problem is that now the league committee wants to fine and ban me from coaching and is supporting a potential lawsuit by the parents of my team because I left them unattended. Do they have a right to do this? Did I not handle the situation correctly? What should I have done instead?

A: Unfortunately the committee does have a right to relieve you as coach, and to ban you from future coaching. If you have been a coach for a long time they probably won't take this extreme measure, but you will have to attend a hearing to defend yourself and find out. The league must protect itself, just as any company must protect themselves. In all sports there is some kind of national insurance agency that all participants are involved in - usually the fee is part of the signup or participation fee the child pays to play for the league (a few dollars at most). For example, ice skaters must join the USFS Association in order to take lessons from USFS recognized coaches. This way if your child is accidentally hurt the association will take care of any resulting medical bills and compensation for lost wages, etc. This protects the coaches from being sued directly for negligence, and protects the skater from not getting proper medical care from a fall so they can continue the sport. The problem is that if a coach is regularly having problems the association needs to have a way to remove this coach to continue to protect themselves. Your little league is the same way - they need to protect themselves and by leaving the kids unattended you opened an avenue for injury, kidnapping, and a realm of other problems. Your saving grace will probably be that you did take note that another parent took over your "coaching" while you walked away - and that this abuse was witnessed as being physical by many other people.

As for the lawsuit, if the other parents actually spoke to you about what happened when you walked away it is very unlikely they will not have a lawsuit against you. Because you are coaching for an organization the worst that will probably happen is the organization has to pay a fine to the parents and you will have to reimburse the organization - depending on their bylaws and how closely you followed their written rules and regulations. That is the whole point of this kind of organization - not just recognition but also protection for individual people assisting the organization. I wouldn't worry too much about the lawsuit, but write down everything that happened, in as much detail as possible, so that if you are called for a hearing you are ready!

There isn't much that you could have done better. Some would tell you that you should have called the police, or the organization leaders, or something of the like. Calling the police would have been an embarrassment for you and for the parent - while it may have stopped the person from future harassment it would also have opened a wide avenue that would have forced the league to ban you as a coach for life. It might also have caused a restraining order to be issued so that parent could no longer come near the games - meaning you would probably have lost a valuable member of your team. By involving the police you would be forcing the organization to take measures that it might otherwise be able to overlook depending on circumstances. Calling the organization leaders would have been a good step - at least to tell them what happened. Most likely a member of the board was at the game anyway, that is a very typical requirement for just such an occurrence as this. Just like school sports usually have the principle or at least 2 teachers present in addition to the coach to help witness any issues.

You did well; you got the abusive parent away from the kids to protect them. You made sure the kids had another adult acting in a responsible party capacity. You took a time out so that your own frustration at this parent was not taken out on the kids. After this you should have sought out the board member in attendance or contacted a board member to discuss what happened while it was fresh in your mind. Then you need to write down what happened in an orderly and timeline manner with as much detail as you can muster. At this point it is just a matter of waiting. Continue coaching your team as you always have, act like nothing is wrong or negative happening. If a parent asks you what is going on you can tell them it is under investigation and if they want more they will have to talk to the board. Just be nice about it, but you don't want to discuss details. Keep in contact with the board. And most importantly - keep an eye out for that abusive parent. Do not attempt to make contact and do not talk to this parent without at least one witness within earshot. They will probably try to apologize, take it with grace and then get away. Whatever happens know that you did your best. And maybe this incident will inspire the board to add rules and regulations for how EXACTLY to handle this kind of situation!