Dealing with Aggressive Thoughts in OCD Children

When your OCD child has aggressive thoughts, it can be difficult to know how to deal with it. The first thing you should always do is remain calm. When you get excited or aggressive back with your child, it will only make it worse.

Aggressive thoughts are often part of the obsessions that OCD people will have. Obsessions are intrusive unwanted thoughts, ideas, urges, impulses or worries that repeatedly run through a person's mind. If your child has obsessions, he is probably as upset about these aggressive or negative thoughts as you are.

Encourage him to talk with you about his thoughts and feelings and not to feel ashamed of aggressive thoughts but instead to learn how to deal with them in a healthy way.

Dealing with Aggressive Behaviors

Sometimes in OCD children, aggressive thoughts can turn into aggressive behaviors. This might happen when he lashes out at something he doesn't understand or when he is feeling very stressed or unable to express himself. You should deal with aggressive behaviors calmly. Separate yourself from the situation first until you are both calm. Then discuss the situation and issue a predetermined consequence of the action. Always be consistent but remind him that you love him. OCD children need a lot of reassurance that they are loved. They can often be the hardest on themselves and depression and stress add to aggressive behaviors.

Positive Reinforcement

Positive reinforcement can go a long way towards treating aggression in the OCD child. Set ground rules and expectations first and upfront. Be sure to talk about them and even put them in writing. When your child does something good, give him loads of praise. Offer rewards for going without aggressive behaviors for a certain period of time. Give lots of praise when you see that he has chosen a more positive outlet for him feelings, such as writing in a journal instead of lashing out at others.

Accountability

In order to deal with aggressive thoughts and behaviors, you will have to hold your OCD child accountable. This also means holding yourself accountable to the plan that you have for consequences and punishments. Making exceptions will only confuse him and reinforce the negative behavior. Hold him accountable for his aggressive behavior by setting up consequences for certain behaviors. For example, "yelling at your sister" might warrant a time out or no video games for the day.

Professional Help

Finally, professional help will go a long way in dealing with aggressive thoughts and behaviors of the OCD child. Remember that your child likely feels just as bad about these behaviors as you do. He may blame himself or think that something is wrong with him. OCD kids can easily become depressed. Professional help will guide you and your child through a healthy relationship with OCD and aggression will start to dwindle in your child. He will take these lessons with him into adulthood as well.

References/Resources

OCD in Children
personal experience