Dealing with a Boyfriend or Husband that Watches Porn
It was hard to accept at first; It bothered me constantly for many reasons. I felt very insecure about myself and thought he did it because he wasn't getting what he wanted from me, or got bored of me after all these years. I felt pretty, unwanted, unloved, and ignored. That's when I realized I need to step up and do something about this. Of course, why wouldn't I be? The man I'm crazy about has been looking up porn, and knows it's wrong, but does it anyways. Why do men have to be so oblivious to a woman's feelings? I thought I wasn't doing something right, and got very and jealous and mean about it for a long time. I even threatened to leave him. He still did it anyways. That's when I realized, my relationship is not worth loosing over something simple such as this. I'm actually lucky, as I see it: at least he's not having a relationship with another woman.
That's the problem with women- We get very jealous, angry, sad, and think bad thoughts when our man does such things. But you have to realize, you can't let this bother you any longer. You can't let this tear apart your relationship. If you want it to work, you're going to have to come up with something to solve this. I thought maybe he did it because I wasn't pretty enough. I also thought, maybe if I looked like the girls in the videos, then he wouldn't do it to me. But that's not true, a man will do this to even the prettiest girl. You have to realize, you can't take this problem to the heart. He's not cheating. But if he was, then there would be a definite problem with that. He doesn't know any of the girls in the videos, so at least it's not someone he's paying or someone he's talking to. This is a whole different situation.
You first of all have to realize why he's doing it- Not because he doesn't love you, not because he doesn't want to do it with you. Men are not like women when it comes to getting off. A women can get off easily without watching pornography, because women are more sensitive to touch and emotions. Men have to see, or watch something to help him to get off. It's not that you don't turn him on, it's just that to his disappointment, you don't walk around the house un-clothed. Really, I think no woman would do that, but men definitely have fantasies. Which doesn't mean you have to walk around the house naked, to fulfill them, it means maybe he likes to watch other couples, when he would really rather be doing it with you. No woman has the time to tend to their husbands every second of their lives. Sometimes the two of you might get busy with your own things. Mens hormones and bodies are designed for sex more than womens. If he's used to doing it with you every night, and you guys don't do it for about a week, your man will get urges. When your man gets these urges, he'll need to relieve himself. And believe me, he will. So don't try to do something that you think will make your boyfriend not want to watch porn, because most likely that's not going to happen. Men don't like it when women try to control them. And honestly, in a relationship, none should control anyone else. They should accept one other for everything that they do.
It's not that he doesn't love you, or that he's not that into you, he loves you or he wouldn't be with you otherwise. You have to realize this. The best way to deal with this its to be able to talk to your husband about this. Feel free to ask him questions and tell him how you feel. As long as it doesn't effect the way he treated you or the time he spends with you, as long as it doesn't come before the two of you, and doesn't become a bad habit, then you really have nothing to worry about. I'm sure he'll be thinking about nothing but you. I hope this article really helped someone. This was a very hard situation for me, not having or knowing how to handle this. No one knew or felt what I was going through, so none of my friends or family could help me, or give me any advice. This is something naughty that men just do. But this whole situation; it's all a part of love, in a strange way. He loves doing it with you, and he probably would rather do it with you than watch porn.
Published by C.B.
Hi, I'm Chelsie, currently in my second year of college. Writing has been a passion of mine for many years. View profile
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12 Comments
Post a CommentI don't think that is has to do with jealousy. I don't feel any jealousy about those girls he watches. I hate it yes and Ive let him known lots of times that it hurts my feelings. Does he continue? yes. Sometimes it can be a good thing because they learn some things, but to me it leads to many things like cheating and being a perv.
I can tell when he has been watching because he doesn't even touch me. I am pregnant and this hurts me so much. I feel that when we do it, he pretends I'm one of them.
I hate it.
I agree with alot of you girl's when me and my b/f got together over 6 yrs ago now I knew he had a porn collection but he was single for many years,And i told him when we moved In with each other that It's either me or the porn cause I couldn't live with It I was raped when I was 13 and lived with a guy who's In prison for life for being a rapist when i was 18 and he use to hang up pic's outa dirty magazines on the wall by our bed! I've had alot of problems with men! he knew all this and he has gotten caught numerous times with porn dvd's hiding in our house even stamina pill's I found once.I break them all when I find them I have even moved out because once I found 14 of'em in our basement! I'm so sick of all this #$%$ and am ready to be just done for good soon! I think It's all leads to other stuff just like drugs If ya can't control yourself with porn than how can you with anything is my opinion!! good luck girl's we are way better than all that! all them sluts make our lives miserable cause It's everywhere these days even in hunting magazines.this world needs to change and people need to stop being so selfish!
Both of you need therapy. Him for his addiction because that is what it is, and you for your lack of self esteem that you will allow him to ignore your feelings. Relationship are about considering the other person in your life NOT carrying on your own life without regard for the other.
I agree watch it together and find out what he likes about it. No matter what anyone say %80 of men are not going to stop, they are not trying to hurt you it's just part of being a man....
Imabeautiful18yearoldgirl...butIwassearchingforsomethingonmybfscomputeryouTUBEwhenIfoundyouPORNalittlefurtherdownthelist.Ifeeldisgusted,worthless,ugly,insignificantandunwanted...Idontfeelinterestedinsexandleastofallhimatthemoment.Iveonlybeendatinghimfivemonthsandhedoesthis?Really,getafuckigholdofyourself.Idontknowwhattodo,buteitheritgoesorIdo.
Whoever wrote this article has settled for a selfish pig. Are you so desperate that you have to do that? Most women are. Men who can't give up porn when it bothers their women are selfish pigs. Women who put up with it have absoloutely no self esteeme, no self respect. You figure you're not good enough so you let him to it and hurt you. Sounds like you are way too desperate for a man.
I liked how you explained how it went with you. But what about when your husband watches porn instead of having sex with you???? Thats my situation. Its become a problem with me because he would rather get off to porn than have sex with me. he shows no affection and isnt romantic with me. I dont like how my husband watches porn before he has sex with me....its just not right. I feel so insecure with me self. Most of the time Im always trying to have sex with him and he turns me down most of the time....thats because he has already gotten off to porn. I am right here y does he need to watch it. I try to be as freaky as I can and nothing I do is ever enough. I have tryed everything he wants me to do and i do it. He always turns to porn instead. What do I do. I know its a little bit different than your situation but can you help me PLEASE!!!
I think you are in denial, have settled and cheated yourself. You said in the beginning of the story that you threatened to leave and he still did it. That means you didn't mean enough for him to stop. Being a "visual being" doesn't give men the right to be pigs and women shouldn't have to put up with it.
we just married 5 months ago and i know my husband is always watching porn and i feel jealous and insecure but i never talk to him about this. i just let him do what he wants to do. i dont care!!!
sounds like a very nieve perspective to me a man that loves you would see the hurt and wedge he is causing in his relationship and do whatever it took to repair the damage, sounds very selfish to me. that;s not control to ask him to stop stabbing, it's respect,