Dealing with Child Discipline Interference During the Holidays

I love the holiday season. I love baking with my children, decorating the house with lights, heck I even enjoy wrapping presents. I could, however, do without family members telling me when I should or shouldn't discipline my children.

I have a few family members who favor two of my four of my children. When I try to discipline those two I often have to deal with interference. It had gone so far as to have my other two kids blamed for what the favored two have done. Thank goodness I am not the complete moron they take me for. I know my kids, and know what they are likely to do, so when two are blamed for getting into a dirt fight, I'm pretty sure who actually is to blame. Especially since the two unfavored kids can't stand to go outside, let alone get dirty. Some times I wish I could just smack certain members of my family. The good news is they aren't actually related to me, they are my husbands cross to bear.

I guess we should get down to some solutions for dealing with disciplining issues during the holidays. Since the problem is most likely not you, continue disciplining your kids the way you always have. You may want to have a conversation with your kids, explaining that bad behavior will not be tolerated, no matter who tries to get involved. The rules are the same, as well as the discipline for breaking rules or expectations.

Once your children know exactly where they stand, and they won't be getting away with much, the real fun begins. There are a few ways to deal with interference from family members, some more tactful than others. While I enjoy the stunned silence of my in-laws when I tell them to shut the heck up, and if I wanted any crap from them I would squeeze their heads, I will admit this is probably not the most appropriate solution.

It is not like I haven't tried more appropriate solutions over the last ten years of marriage, I just have very dense in-laws who suffer from an extreme case of selective hearing. I sincerely hope this is not the case with your family. The solution I tried first was just ignoring the comments and continue with the discipline of my children. I figured I could tolerate just about anything for a short time. It turns out I was wrong. Though it might have helped if people could take a hint, but rather than realize I was in fact ignoring them, they chose to believe I was deaf and proceeded to yell instructions at me.

I was not going to give up in my quest to find a tactful way to continue disciplining my children despite family interference and neither should you. If the first attempt fails try, try again. Explain to your family that you would prefer that they do not question your disciplinary actions in front of your children. Tell them it undermines your authority, and that is unacceptable. When I explained this to my in-laws I guess I used too many big words, because it flew right over their heads, and I was met by a whole lot of blank stares.

The final solution I have to offer is taking your family members aside and explaining that you will discipline your children the way you see fit. That it's important for you to be consistent, and that you don't appreciate their interference. They need to keep their comments to themselves.

Holidays are supposed to be fun, and enjoyable occasions. Sometimes dealing with certain family members can make having a good time difficult. Try to keep your cool and relax. Do your very best to not be like me and totally mouth off, while some what entertaining, it does not make for a good family holiday. I hope you have a great holiday season and a very happy new year.