Dealing With The New Dad Blues

With the arrival of a baby, most of the attention is grabbed by the newborn and his mother, leaving Dad out in the cold. While this is understandable, it means that post-partum blues in fathers often goes missed. This problem is far more common than you might think.

While fathers might not be experiencing the same drain of hormones that the new mother is, there are still many contributing factors to the Daddy Blues. The arrival of a new little one is a stressful event. Suddenly, the father is responsible for providing food and shelter for a tiny being, in addition to his partner.

The sense of responsibility toward a new baby can be overwhelming and many a new dad has lain awake at night, worrying about the future and mentally calculating college costs! The best way to handle this part of parenthood is to work out a budget ahead of time (before the baby arrives) that includes all possible costs such as formula, diapers, etc. If you have enough money each month, put a little aside in an emergency fund, for medical problems or other issues that might arise once the baby is born. This gives you a fallback which can help you feel more secure.

Another big factor in the new dad blues is the special bond that mother and child have. After all, she carried the baby for 9 months and the father was simply an observer. Now that the baby is out in the real world, the mother probably looks like she knows just what she's doing, while many men feel completely awkward and uncomfortable holding or changing their little ones. This just takes practice. Make sure you offer to help the new mom with bathing and caring for the baby as much as possible and both of you will benefit.

The relationship between two people who have a baby can change drastically once the little one arrives. Suddenly all attention is focused on the baby and there just doesn't seem to be enough time for the two of you anymore. It is important that you spend time together still, even if just a few minutes once the baby is in bed. Sex will be out for at least 6 weeks, and this can make a new dad feel even more left out. Spending quality time just talking or cuddling in front of a movie can help, as can talking to other men who are going through the same thing.

Post-partum depression is quite common in fathers, but it is seldom recognized. Try to relax and enjoy your new baby and remember that while life will never be the same as it was before, it will get better as the baby grows and becomes a fun little person who will interact with you!