Dealing with the Death of a Parent
Living
It's only now that I feel comfortable writing about it, though I've felt the need and want to for a long time.The hardest thing is remembering, and the most important thing is remembering. Trying not to remember them isn't about to do anything but cause you further pain.
There are a few things I can share, from my experiences dealing with this loss. The death of a parent, of any loved one, is a unique experience. Nobody can tell you how to deal with it but yourself, and nobody should know you better than yourself. Despite this there are still a few helpful things that I can suggest.
It isn't wrong to smile. For the first six months every time I felt a smile touch my lips or felt laughter in my stomach I started to feel sick. Who was I to smile? What right did I have to smile when my mother was dead. I wasn't looking at it the right way. Not at all. Who am I not to smile? People have died since the beginning of time. It isn't pleasant, but it is life. Those I love would ask me to smile, my mother always would. So even though it hurts, even when it feels wrong, smile. Smile until you remember how to again without that pain.
Thing's won't ever be the same, That doesn't mean things can't be good again. They're gone. My mother will never hold my hand again, she will never tel me it will all be okay again. It isn't all okay and it won't be. That doesn't mean the world will end. They love you and you loved them, there is no reason in the world to break yourself.
You know what's right, live. That's the only thing to do, I spent a long time wondering and thrashing myself over what I should and could do after she died. The answer is simpler by far that I thought. Live. Live in the way that feels right, in the way you think they might have wanted you to live. Live so you can be happy, so you can love and so that your mother and your father can find rest in the fact that their children found some peace and joy in the world.
Published by Christian K. Martinez
Christian K. Martinez is a college student majoring in anthropology. His writing has been published by AlienSkin Magazine and Kobold Quarterly. View profile
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1 Comments
Post a CommentMy father passed away christmas morning 2:00 am 2011 I knew he was dieing he had cancer he wanted to die,he only had two rounds of chemo and to rounds of radition but it was just to much for him. I do not understand and I am just mad about the whole thing. I put him in the hospital on the 14 of December and and eleven days later he was gone that is just to quick I know he made his choice it was his to make but now I feel so alone. My mother has been gone for 19 years and my sister for 4 years and my brother thinks he is better than God so my father was all I had left it just hurts so much.