Dealing with Differences: How to Get Along in College

Entering my sophomore year of college, I felt pretty comfortable with the friends I had made as a freshman. We'd spent an entire year together already, and I figured I knew all there was to know about these new people in my life. Boy, was I wrong!

As the 2008 Presidential election took over America, discussions about politics, religion, and the economy made their way into my burgeoning friendships. During this time, my friends and I discovered we disagreed strongly on many issues, and these differences caused a rift in some relationships.

At the time, I was surprised at the polarization amongst my group of friends. Some of us supported Obama. Others believed in McCain and the Republican platform. Looking back on it, though, I now realize that these types of clashes are part of living in society, and college can be a perfect training ground for practicing good communication.

Every year, thousands of students from all over the world descend on universities across America. Every student comes to school with a unique background and a certain set of ideals he has acquired over his life.

Some people may have been raised in the middle-class comfort of the quiet suburbs. Others might come from a single-parent household in the center of a bustling city. Some come from families where money is not a major concern, while others are struggling to make ends meet. Some embrace more conservative political values, while others believe more passionately in the virtues of liberalism. Whatever the case may be, when you're placed in a dorm and forced to interact with different people every day, it's inevitable that some arguments will erupt. But what seems to be an uncomfortable predicament can in reality be a major learning opportunity.

The trick to a pleasant coexistence is not to take these clashes personally, but to keep an open mind. Everyone has been raised with a certain set of values and feels very strongly about these beliefs. Nobody on this earth knows the truth when it comes to life's fundamental questions, though, so don't exclude someone just because they don't share your views.

Use your time in college to learn how to relate with people who do not think as you do. Practice speaking up about your beliefs in a respectful way that shows you are honest, authentic and assertive. This is the perfect time to develop good communication skills, and you can be a model for how it's done. Learn to listen when others are speaking, but also demand to be heard when it's your turn to speak up. Trying to hide who you are because you want to please everyone is not the best policy, nor is it smart to continuously force your opinions down somebody else's throat.

Aside from politics and religion, another potentially divisive issue amongst college friends can be money. Some students are fortunate enough to have a steady flow of spending money available, while others have to be choosy with where and when they spend their cash. Sometimes, these financial differences can lead to bad-mouthing and jealousy amongst friends. Don't fall for this trap! The way someone spends their money is their own business, but if you can't keep up with restaurant outings or shopping sprees, be honest with your friends. If they are truly considerate, then they'll be more sensitive to your spending limits when the time comes to make plans.

As expected with college relationships, not all the friends you meet during freshman year will remain your friends by the time you graduate. Some people never become more than acquaintances, while other folks just naturally go their own way. The best thing to do is to find some people with whom you truly click, and with whom you can disagree and still remain great friends.

If you find that some friendships just aren't working out, it is perfectly acceptable to distance yourself and create some space. This is the way life unfolds. Sometimes, spending too much time with the same person can develop into an unhealthy obsession. Be kind, and never exclude someone simply because he's different from you. You're not obligated to be best friends with everyone, but you are obligated to be respectful.