Dealing with Divorce

You know the phrase 'depression affects everyone'? Well, it's the same thing with divorce. Divorce affects everyone. I was one of those people who never thought that my parents would get divorced. Then, 6 months ago, it happened. My dad told my mom he wanted a divorce, after over 30 years of marriage. I thought he was joking, but it turned out to be the worst joke ever since it was true.

My parents were what everyone saw as the "perfect couple". Even I saw them that way! Their relationship is what I always wanted. We asked dad is there was another woman, another man, if he wanted to try counseling, etc. It was 'no, *chuckle* no, and no'. I also did the whole blaming myself thing, being angry, all of it. You end up going through the five stages of grief.

You go through denial, the 'oh, this can't be happening to be me', thing. You get angry, wanting to know why. All of these burning questions, and you just get so mad you want to hit something. I even did bargaining and blamed myself for things. I didn't help keep the house clean enough, if I kept the house clean enough would you decide to come back? I kept going back and forth from being angry to being sad. It's hard dealing with divorce. It honestly affects everyone. It's affected all of the kids, ages ranging from 14-28. Eventually though, with time you just accept it, life goes on.

Since I was there through it all, I heard the horrible things my dad said to my mother. He said some horrible things to me, too. It's so hard not to take sides, but you really have to try not to. It's all part of dealing with divorce. It's hard because even though I have ill feelings towards my dad right now, he's still my dad, and one day I may need him. I try to be fair, and I try to keep in touch. It's hard to not be angry with him, but you have to take a deep breath and count to ten. My mom and sister are moving now. The house is going to be sold. There are a lot of changes that take place. He's already broken a promise to my little sister.

It's hard to watch. It's hard to deal with. It's hard coping and going through those stages of grief. To me, what's harder yet, is knowing that all the pain I've felt from this, is the same kind of pain countless of other people have felt from having to deal with divorce. I can't imagine so many people having to deal with this. Some divorces get really messy, too. Thankfully, my parent's divorce only took about 6 months and they came to agreements on things. You just really have to look at the positive side of things, because being positive can make all the difference.