Dealing with Emotional Baggage

Up to this point you've been feeling pretty good. We've talked about how unreasonable some people are, how you are going to work them through their problems, and how you are going to make things all better! Well, guess what? You may have some problems you need to deal with first!

We've talked about emotional baggage. Emotional baggage is any thoughts or feelings that contribute in any way to a particular situation. These feelings are not limited to other people. You have them to.

Everyone involved in retail or wholesale business has had an instance where they just finish dealing with a real pain in the neck customer and the phone rings. You answer "WHAT!!!" and invariably it's a nice, little old lady with a little problem. Your greeting has put that nice lady into a startled and defensive mode. You have just made an easy situation just a little bit harder to resolve.

It's difficult to separate our emotions and feelings from our work. It's just about impossible t come to work depressed and walk through the door and be transformed into a happy and smiling person. It just doesn't happen that way. You can, however, take some steps to minimize the effects of your emotions.

If you are bringing problems from home with you, use the commute to work to alter your state of mind. Concentrate on positive things in your life. Don't dwell on the problems, dwell on what's going well for you. It might be good health, a healthy family, a happy event that's coming up, anything that is positive. Force your self to smile. Breath deeply. Become animated. Listen to a good tape on your car stereo. What you are trying to accomplish is to alter the way your brain is seeing things at that point.

Have you ever tried to be depressed and smile at the same time? That requires effort! Use the time you have commuting to work to change your state of mind. It will help you deal with life at work just a little bit better. The same ting goes for dealing with difficult customers.

Never let one customer effect the way you deal with the next one. If you have an extremely hard time with one individual, take a moment before picking up the phone and dealing with the next one. Take few deep breathes and get your thoughts where they should be, helping the customer. Make it your goal to start every communication at "ground zero" or a neutral emotional state. This will help you deal with conflicts in a more levelheaded manner.

One very common statement from retail people in the customer service area is that the vast majority of customers are a pain in the neck. Unless you work for a company that produces a truly inferior product or service, this is not an accurate statement.

One problem we have in dealing with customers on a daily basis is that we develop a perception of our job that may or may not be accurate. Our minds tend to remember the situations that cause us the most pain and discomfort. After a busy day what do you remember, the 15 customers who were friendly and easy to help or the one real pain in the neck that yelled and screamed at you in front of everyone? You remember the only bad experience. Over time, your brain gathers all these negative experiences and formulates the opinion that your customers are a group of angry and negative people.

In order for you to change your perception of your job and your customers you need to replace the information stored in your brain with positive information. Just saying things are great is not going to do it. You have to prove to your brain that it is wrong. How can you do that? Try this simple exercise. For the next four weeks, keep a log of the number of people that you come in contact with each day. Count the nice people and the nasty people. At the end of everyday add up the totals. At the end of the month, add all the daily totals up and see how many nice customers you had and how many bad ones you had. I bet you'll be surprised at the results. Now that you know what the reality of the situation is your brain will look at things differently from that point on. You will have a different perspective on your customers.

If you deal with people over the phone you have another problem that you will need to deal with. Over the telephone 70 - 80% of what the customer hears is not what you say but rather how you say it. The tone of your voice carries more weight than the actual words you speak! Think about how careful you must be with the tone of your voice!

What contributes to the tone of your voice? Your emotions. If you're happy and upbeat, you are going to have a vibrant, even passionate, tone to your voice. Your voice is going to take the other party into a mood of appreciation and receptiveness. If your voice is dull and listless, you are going to put your customer into a state of aggravation and annoyance. Which state do you think is the best for resolving a conflict? The positive state!

Your environment is another factor in how you deal with conflict. We talked about believing in yourself and your company. This is extremely important. Any insincerity you feel will be noticeable in you voice and mannerisms. If there is something that can be done to make your work environment more suitable to your job, try and change it. Make your area a little brighter, add a plant or two, some nice pictures on the wall, anything that will brighten your mood will make you more effective.

David V. Greis
The Customer Service Training Institute
http://www.infowhse.com