Dealing with a Friend's Pregnancy After Your Own Personal Loss

One of the worst feelings in the world is after the loss of a pregnancy through a miscarriage or the death of a small child. No one understands the pain and suffering of your loss, and that is not about to go away any time soon. So how do you deal with the happy news that someone close to you is pregnant? While this is their happy time, how can you possibly feel happy during their pregnancy when you suffered such an incredible loss? While I would never try to tell anyone how to deal with these overwhelming feelings, I do have a few ideas to help ease your pain, having lived through the experience myself. Hopefully you can take some of this away to make this incredibly difficult time a little smoother transition.

The most important thing to do is to focus on the love you have for the pregnant mama-to-be. Is she your best friend or sister? This will make it easy to remember that you love this person and you are happy for them. It is okay to happy for someone else and still sad for your own loss. You don't have to hate them or be angry with them because of their pregnancy. It isn't their fault that they are pregnant and you aren't and focusing on the love you have for them will help you get through this difficult time.

Turn your loss into a blessing for the pregnant friend. My sister-in-law recently had a baby shower and one of the most precious gifts she received was a beautiful quilt. A coworker had always wanted a baby girl and bought this the very moment she found out she was pregnant. Two boys later she decided to bless someone else with the beauty of that blanket. Something like this may be therapeutic and help start the healing process. Just make sure are ready. I have two tiny beautiful little outfits I bought even before I knew I was having a girl. While I haven't given them up yet, I know that they will look just as adorable on my precious niece as they would have on my own daughter.

Take pleasure in your loved one's blessing. Whether you like it or not, your loved one pregnant, and being able to enjoy this experience will only make your life happier and healthier. After a pregnancy loss, being around babies can be painful and frustrating. I cry every time I see a baby girl. But it can also be therapeutic and rewarding. Vow to be the best aunt you can be. Volunteer to baby sit and really enjoy the time you spend with their baby. While you may not have a baby of your own, you are still able to be a good friend and helping out in any way you can will help you to feel better about your life. While it's easy to want to stay in bed in cry, it's good for you to get up and continue on with your life. You don't have to forget your loss or downplay it in any way. Loving someone else's child doesn't mean that you didn't love your own, it just means that you are opening your heart back up again. While that may seem very painful, it is a good thing and will be very beneficial to you in the long run.

Being pregnant is the most exciting time in anyone's life, but suffering that loss can be the most heart wrenching thing in the world. While you are suffering, your friends are enjoying their excitement and you want to be able to share in that joy. Let your tears be tears of excitement, not tears of sorrow. Take it slow, one step at a time, and you can make it through this tough challenge in your life.