Dealing with Grief

Getting through grief isn't easy, if it was nobody would be trying to "figure it all out". Nobody can really tell another what to do to come to terms with grief, no matter the cause. Everyone's grief is experienced differently and this is a common theme among people undergoing grief "you don't know what I feel like, you don't know what I'm going through."

This is also something often heard by teen-agers. And in many ways, both are right. As someone who has undergone considerable grief in the last year of my life I understand this point of view and can give a little insight into it and how to help yourself deal with it.

I've found that there are four solid ways to help yourself through just about most episodes of grief. When life gets to just be too much, and it's bearing down on you there are of course lots of things you can do and these will always change based upon you and your situation however these four tips can be used to help guide you through.

Don't Force Yourself to Forget

I've tried forcibly not remembering, and it doesn't really work how you'd imagine it. The more you focus on not remembering things, the more you are well focusing on the object of your grief. The temptation to try to "forget" and put it all behind you is strong.

Instead let your grief come to you naturally and fade that way too. It's okay to be sad, don't try to feel a pressure to instantly be happy when something traumatizing has happened to you. Look at yourself, look at what has happened and let yourself get through it instead of jerking yourself in or out of trying to confront your problem.

Keep Breathing
When worst comes to worst just keep breathing. When your tears are pouring out and you are shaking just...take a moment. Breathe. Feel yourself calm and relax, control your breathing and use it to control yourself. The more calm and even you keep your breathing your emotions are quickly quieted as well.

Smile
When somebody says a funny joke, remember to laugh. When somebody makes you happy, remember to smile. Have you ever head the saying "It's the little things that count?" This definitely applies to smiling. A smile a day most definitely helps you deal with grief.

Keep Living
Don't stop living. Take a rest, relax, recuperate. But don't stop. Don't let the hardships of life stop you from living at all. That's one of the hardest things to realize, that we don't need to and shouldn't stop everything because of our grief, but instead should continue to walk forward and go on. It's important to remember to simply Live.