Dealing with Incompatible Taste When Doing Home Repairs

When choosing a spouse, home repair compatibility is far more important than religious beliefs, annual income potential or sexual attitudes. Marrying without this important piece of information increases the risk of divorce in direct proportion to the new couple's overly optimistic belief that building a wall together will build a better relationship. One or both of them will almost always have undisclosed shortcomings in the home repair department.

Twenty-five years ago, my husband and I married and began our own home repair compatibility test, as under-informed, first-time homeowners. A fixer-upper would not only fit the budget but fulfill our need to prolong the honeymoon. We would learn new things, and enjoy a sense of accomplishment, while increasing the value of our investment.

Our first home repair compatibility issue was revealed when my husband failed the patience test. Of course, even Jesus, a professional carpenter, and probably much more patient than my husband, might have eventually lost His patience, too, had He been working with me. But I bet He wouldn't have made that gaping hole in the wall or taken His own name in vain.

The second thing we learned was that not only did I lack the ability to read a tape measure and apply lumps of spackle smoothly; I couldn't overcome either deficiency no matter how loudly my husband explained.

Just as planned, we were learning new things, not only about each other, but about the laws of physics, and the general advantages of my leaving the house to go shopping before the swearing started.

After years of mishaps, we now know that walking under a ladder isn't bad luck, but trying to move one while you're standing on it is. We also know what my footprints in polyurethane look like, and he knows what 110 volts feels like. We learned that home improvement, just like marriage, isn't ever done, but if you can laugh along the way, those little imperfections won't be so noticeable. You might even learn to appreciate them because you did them yourself.

Bruised feelings, skinned knuckles, bent nails and wasted lumber aside, we're still married, and have yet to spend one penny of our criminal defense fund on an attorney. We're not quite sure how that happened, but we think we finally found our compatibility level, despite our differences. He measures everything twice, I cut us some slack, and we both give at least an inch.