Dealing with Life Head On and Facing Reality

Introduction
Have you every asked yourself how certain people are able to handle the major things which life's hands them and just keep going? No matter what happens in their lives, they seem to bounce back rather quickly. They manage to find hope where none seems to exist.

Life is difficult. It is full of trials, hardships, and problems which one must be able to face every day. All of us face financial difficulties, children, and other daily tasks. We work, pay our bills, find time for our families, and juggle all the tasks necessary to live each day in a somewhat peaceful manner. We complain about our troubles and voice our opinions about how things could be better. We dream of better days, more money, better homes, and happier lives. We spend much of our life striving to reach these better aspects of life. We save for our retirement or plan for our futures.

When a tragedy occurs, our lives are thrown off balance. We then try to get through the tragedy while trying to maintain our daily lives. This seems to be easier for some then it is for others.

This article is one which is based on my own opinions and those of many people who find life to be a challenge, but one we will always manage to survive. Eventually, we all know we will loose the battle, but we will not go down without a fight. We will fight, struggle, and face life head on until our breath is gone and death wins.

This article looks at life from the perspective of facing reality and not hiding from it. It looks at how people are able to get through calamities and manage to become better for having gone through them. It is about learning from what life teaches through the battles we fight and the hardships we go through.

I am not trying here to minimize people problems. I know that what may not seem like an important problem to me, may be something of importance to someone else. I know that many people look at things differently. I know there are many factors which changes how people look at life. Everyone has the right to disagree with what I say and believe.

Through this article, I am merely trying to offer an alternative view. It is not a new one. There have been books and other material written on the subject. If you go to Google and do a search, I am sure you will find plenty of information and ideas about what is discussed in this article. Some may agree and some may disagree.

I am not trying to provide the meaning of life. We all must find that within ourselves.
This merely is my own views based on my own experience and those gained from conversations with other people throughout my life.

Life is About Choices and Lessons Learned.
There are many people who never seem to get anywhere in life. Just when it seems their lives get straightened out, another calamity hits them. It just seems that some people have the worst luck. Life never seems to cut them any slack.

There are those who seem to never deal with much at all. Everything they try to accomplish, just seems to work out. They have a life full of everything a person could ever want. When a hardship does finally hit them, they fall apart.

There are those who seem unable to deal with anything. The slightest problem seems to throw them off balance, and they are ready for their lives to end. They are those who are always complaining. No matter how many things go right in their life, how much money they have acquired, how successful they are in their careers, or how well things seem to be going within their families; they are never happy about life.

No matter which particular group you fall into or what type of person you happen to be, life will always challenge you.

Why are people so different in how they manage to deal with life? Well, much of it depends on their backgrounds and experiences. We learn how to handle our lives by our parents. We learn from many different experiences how to deal with life. College which teaches us how to manage a particular career and other endeavors are geared at learning a particular task. A whole lot of our experiences are learned as we go, and these life experiences teach us the most about dealing with life.

Children do not come with a manual. Our parents may have provided a framework of how to be parents, but it is different when you become a parent yourself. We have to learn by doing it. Like many other things in life, it is trial and error.

We spend much of our time trying to build our lives. We do this by making choices. We choose our careers, our partners to build families, where we wish to live, and other things which makes up our life styles.

Once we grow up our choices determine how our lives will be lived. Our parents made our choices while we were younger, but now it is all up to us. We are products of the choices we make and the outcomes of these choices provide lessons to be learned. Some times we learn it was a right choice, but often these outcomes becomes mistakes. For example: If we choose a certain person to be our partner in life, and it turns out to be a disaster which ends in divorce, we learn not to make the same mistake again. We learn the type of person we chose this time is not the right one . Usually, we will learn from this not to choose the same type of person. Of course, some lessons are harder to learn, and it may take many mistakes before the lesson becomes clear and we learn to make different choices.

Life is all about choices. Everyday, we make choices. Some good and some bad. We learn more from the bad choices, then we do from the good ones. I was told when I was younger that a person who does not make mistakes is a person who does not do anything. If we never try anything, then we can never know what we can accomplish. If we make a mistake doing something one way, then we learn to try it another. If one person is not right for us, then another may be right for us.

There are many tragedies and calamities which happen in our lives. Even in these times of tragedy, a certain choice may make us get through it easier or make the outcome better.

Many people are abused, there is murders in our streets, natural disasters, fires, illness, and many others. These are many times beyond our control but certain things we may choose to do may help the outcomes turn out better. People survive abuse by getting away from their abusers and changing their lives. People recover from illnesses because they listen to their doctors and change their life styles. People protect themselves better from the violence in their streets by helping the police and adding more security to their homes. People are more careful with things which start fires and protect themselves better in time of a disaster. We learned a lesson from the tragedy to do something different to change the outcome if this same event should happen again.

We see in these circumstance how people react to these problems differently. There are those who just seem to rise above every calamity in their life and those who never seem to get over them. There are those who rise above their problems and those who just become immersed in their problems and the problems overcome them.

I believe this happens because many people are better equipped to deal with reality. There are many people still living by the, "It will never happen to me," ideal. They live in a rosy world of things only happening to others. They never see anything bad ever happening to them. They believe they are immune to disaster. Reality has a lesson for them.

Facing Reality
Reality is all of your experiences that determine how things appear to you. Everyone's reality may be different, but there are certain things which are consistent for everyone. In reality we all know we will live for a certain amount of time on this earth until the day we die. This is a reality for everyone. Our individual realities are those which involve our own families and circumstances. Many tragedies and disasters can happen for anyone and are a part of reality which could pose a threat to any one at any given time. They may not have happened to us yet, but we know they exist. Those who face reality will protect themselves from this unseen reality because they know they are not immune.

No one is immune to tragedies and disaster. There are things that happen in life which we are never completely ready for until they occur. We can prepare to some extent, but the impact will still be a strong one. Some of us are just better able to bounce back from them. Those people who think these things can never happen to them are fooling themselves. It is an inability to face reality.

I am a realist. A person concerned with real things and practical matters rather than those that are imaginary or visionary. I face life as it happens, and I accept it as it is. I may speak out on things I believe in, but I can handle anything life throws at me. This does not mean I am incapable of dreaming. Oh, I dream about a better life just like other people do, I just don't get lost in the dreams. I don't let the dreams take away my ability to see what is happening in my reality.

Reality is too harsh for many people to handle. They hide from it by taking drugs or drinking alcohol. They get immersed in a dream world. They keep running here and there trying to escape their problems only to find they go with them. Many work to hide from life and problems. Many people do many things for the sole purpose of trying to escape reality.

We can run, but we can't hide from reality. It is there and always ready to teach us something we need to know. If you live in Florida, you know there is a hurricane season which you must be prepared to deal with during a certain portion of every year. This is a part of reality you can't hide from unless you move to another part of the country. In other parts of the country, there are other things which can happen. Tornadoes, floods, and earthquakes are some of these disasters. Reality always has something to dish out to people.

There is nothing wrong in having a positive attitude. We can't live our lives in doom and gloom, and it is not my goal here to present that to the reader. We do need to be aware of the dangers which lurk in shadows and behind storm clouds. If we let the rosy world view cloud the true view of reality, then we will be all the more shocked and unprepared when a real disaster occurs. We must also not just dwell on the bad parts of reality, but we must experience and celebrate the good parts of reality.

My life has been a life of utter disaster at times. I have dealt with abuses, tragedy, illness, death, and a whole host of others. The reason I have survived them all and became the strong person I am today is because I faced them head on. I didn't run or hide from reality, I dealt with it. I believe my life is better today because of it. I also have learned not to take the good parts of my life for granted, but to celebrate them because they can disappear so quickly.

This may sound strange to the reader, but there are many people like me who have gone through much worse and feel the same way I do. Life has a lot of weapons to hit us with and these weapons will destroy us if we are not ready to face them. Those of us who face reality are better equipped to deal with what life throws at us because we do not give into it or let it beat us.

We can change certain things within life; speak out on issues we know must change; be a part of life and the solutions which will make life better for all; and help each other get through life's battles. These are the ways we can deal with reality and help each other to deal with it.

Dealing with reality does not mean to live in isolation and fear. It is to work to make the reality better. We can deal with reality easier when we use the experiences of our realities and tragedies for the benefit of others. We can also seek the help of others to help us get through a certain problem. It is not weakness to ask for help. People who face reality accept that sometimes they are just not able to handle everything on their own.

If you don't like something about your own reality, you can change certain things within it to make it better. Sometimes you may need help to do this. The things in reality which you can't change just need to accepted. Again, if you can't do this on your own, there is nothing wrong with asking for help.

You have to accept that you have to pay taxes, feed your families, work to earn the money you need to survive, and take care of your responsibilities. You can choose not to do this, but you can not choose the outcome. You can't say, "I will not pay my taxes," and then choose to have no consequences. There will be consequences. If you are ready to accept those consequences then you may make that choice.

Facing reality means I will change the things I wish to change if I can change them, but will accept the things which are unchangeable. You can't control the weather. You can prepare yourself to deal with it. Saying it will never rain does not mean it will never rain, because we all know at some point it will rain. We know when we see dark clouds, we may need to get an umbrella. Some times, it catches us off guard and we get wet. Those who would say, "It will never rain," will get caught off guard and will get wet because they will never be prepared.

Life is not easy and reality often stinks and many times it catches us off guard. It rarely happens according to how we plan it. The experience of a previous battle will prepare us for the next one. These experiences can also help someone else to deal with battles in their own life.

We are products of our choices and experiences. No matter how bad our particular reality may seem to be, some somewhere has a reality which is worse then ours. Our problems are not the biggest on the planet, and the world does not revolve around us. Life is filled with people who could use a little help to get through a problem.

Others may not be able to deal with things as easy as we can. It is not our place to judge them, but to help them. Those who face reality are usually the ones first in line to help others deal with their problems in their own lives and reality. We know that reality is not always nice and fair. We may tackle it head on, but we also know that others may be less prepared based on their own reality. Their experiences may not have prepared them for this certain problem, disaster, or tragedy.

Facing reality is hard and this is why so may choose not to face it but to hide by using some method to escape it. Many choose to use the rosy world view of reality to hide the real one. It doesn't matter how much people try to hide from reality or to mask it, it will always find a way to rear it's ugly head and remind them it is there.

Facing reality is a simple concept. It simply means we don't run from life we live it. We keep ourselves positive, but we are aware that there are bad things in life which can hurt us. Much of this comes from lessons which life has already taught us. We choose to tackle our problems and work to make our lives better by finding solutions to our problems.

Facing reality also means we face our responsibilities. We do not blame others for things we are responsible for and we do what is expected of us. This does not mean we are perfect. We have our bad days and make mistakes, but we are able to bounce back because we know that life holds great things for us.

You see, people who face reality know what it is like to face tragedies. Most have dealt with them. You can not fully appreciate the good things in life if you haven't dealt with the bad things. Without the tragedies, hardships, and problems there would be nothing to compare the good things too. We tend to have a special appreciation and love for the great things life has to offer because we have overcome these major hurdles.

Those who have faced the hardest parts of reality through tragedies and disasters, know just how precious life is and how easy it can disappear. We don't take life for granted and enjoy each and every moment. Each day is a special celebration.

Life's Survival Skills
People always ask me, "How in the world did you ever manage to survive all that you have been through?" Well, simply by facing them head on and facing reality; realizing many of my problems were because I made some bad choices; knowing there are other people who have dealt with worse problems then mine; and using my own experiences to help others.

Life's survival skills are within us. We can choose to survive or let life beat us. This a choice we all make every day. You may not even realize you are making this choice. Our life is a test of our survival skills. Every time you survive a tragedy, overcome an obstacle, solve a problem, change a bad behavior, speak out on something you believe in, help another person get through a rough time, or just get through another day; you are using "Life's Survival Skills" and passing another of life's tests.

Here is a list of the fundamental survival skills we all possess.
* We have the ability to analyze situations to know the best course of action which will secure the desired result.
* We have the ability to use our own experience to help us plot a particular course within our own lives.
* We have the ability to show empathy for another person's problems which helps us to understand there are others who have problems bigger then ours.
* We have the ability to sense danger based on past experiences.
* We have the ability to express our ideas and speak out on things which need to be changed within our communities.
* We have the ability to communicate with people who can give us information which can help us in a particular situation or with a certain problem.
* We have the ability to make our own choices and to learn from our mistakes.
* We have the ability to face reality and meet the challenges life offers us each day.
* We have the ability to stand strong against the battles of life and refuse to be defeated.
* We have the ability to take responsibility for our own lives.
* We have the ability to know that we are not immune to disaster and tragedy, but to be prepared to the degree we are able.
* We have the ability to face life and not to hide from it. Hiding does not solve anything.
* We all have the courage to deal with tragedies and disasters. We are often unaware of what we can handle until we have to handle it.
* We have the ability to believe in ourselves and to know our own capabilities.

There are probably more I could include in the above list but this will give the readers a basic idea of the survival skills they have within them. This is a general list which is modified to each person personally. We have to believe they exist first before we can begin to see what skills we truly possess.

They are there, but it takes some people time to realize it and to find them within themselves. When they are most needed, like when faced with a disaster, a person will know they are there.

Conclusion
Making choices, facing reality, and finding our ability to survive life's battles are basic aspects of life. Yet, some have a hard time with these and thus have problems with life in general. Dealing with life is a real chore for many people. Some people get through life without having to deal with many disasters or tragedies. Some may not deal with any at all. Then, there are those who seem to bounce back from everything life throws at them.

The world is made up of many types of people with many different problems, tragedies, disasters, chaos, etc. Life can be cruel and reality harsh. If we are able to face what life and reality throws at us, we can better enjoy the great things life offers. The bad parts of life and reality help us to appreciate the good parts of life.

Our experiences help us to prepare for disaster and tragedy. Dealing with one tragedy helps us to be better prepared if the tragedy should repeat itself. We can never be fully prepared for disasters and tragedies. There will still be certain disasters or tragedies which will catch us off guard, but we can minimize the force of it by being aware they exist. A rosy world of reality will not help us to be prepared for life's battles.

We can stay positive while have a healthy knowledge of the fact that today is a blessing. Tomorrow, life could end. It isn't negative to think like this. It is refusing to take life for granted because you know how fragile life can be. It is cherishing each moment and being grateful for each day you have a life to live.

Life is too short to worry about trivial matters. There are certainly enough disasters, tragedies, and chaos to keep us busy without worrying about trivial matters. We can help each other and work to make life better for everyone. We need to enjoy each day and take nothing for granted.