Dealing with the Loss of a Loved One

Losing someone who is close to you is a hard thing to cope with. You can be comforted by other family members or friends, but the pain will still be there when you are alone.

I lost my great-grandmother and close friend on the same day, March 3, 2007. I didn't know what to do, how to react, all I knew is that my heart was aching.

I was comforted by family members during the day, but when I returned home that night the pain hit again. I went to take a shower, and I couldn't even concentrate. I kept on thinking about life and death, and asking myself, "Why?"

I sat and wrote down my feeling the next night, and it really seemed to help. Things that I was ashamed to say in front of family members or emotions that I was afraid to reveal. Writing down my emotions helped me in so many ways. It relieve a lot of extra tension that I had built up, and I knew that they were both up there looking down, telling me it was okay to feel this way.

My friends viewing was on Tuesday night. As I stood there in line waiting to see her one last time, I flipped through the photo albums, and scrapbooks they had of her. It eased my heart and mind a lot to see her in so many different ways besides how I was about to see her. I could remember her for more then just lying in a casket. I looked at all her awards and plaques, and I couldn't help but cry. She had so many achievements, and such a full life, it was just a shame she couldn't live to see more of it.

My great-grandmothers viewing was the following day. I found comfort with family members there, and a lot of comfort in the preacher who did the service. He talked about how my grandmother would sit by the water and read, while she waited for my grandfather to come in off the water from fishing. He talked about her life and how much family she had that loved her. I found it relieving to talk about good things rather then remember her for the last few hours of her life.

Most of all I found that writing down your feelings, talking with family and friends, and talking about the good in people, and all the happy times, is what helps you to cope best. There is no better way to mourn then to laugh and cry over the love you had for that person.

My great-grandmother's name was Helen, but we all called her Mammy. She was 93 years old and just shy of her 94^th birthday on March 17^th. She was an amazing person with a loving personality, and loved playing cards. I remember always going to her house for poker parties or her coming over our house to spend time with the family. She was a beautiful person, and will be missed dearly.

My friend's name was Randi. She was in a terrible accident on Saturday afternoon that cost her her life. She was 18, just shy of her 19^th birthday on May 9^th. She was a student in college, an assistant director with the band, and a great friend. She has a beautiful personality that melted everyone's heart. No matter what type of mood you were in, she would bring a smile to your face, and a tear to your eye. She was an amazing young woman with so much going for her. Randi was an amazing person, and will be remembered forever.

***In Memory of Helen "Mammy" Keyser, and Randi Lynne Salem. You are in my thoughts and my heart always, and you will be truly missed.***