Dealing with a Nosy Co-Worker

Some people are just too curious, beyond social norm. They are the people whom you want to just shout out "it's really none of your business" or "why do you want to know?" The problem is socially or career wise sometimes you can't really lose it verbally on the nosy person in question. Sometimes the nosy person has been my boss, jeepers, beaver, I can't catch a break.

While most co-workers are just trying to make the time pass by or they really are interested in what you have to say, nosy people always go a step beyond. They make the hair on the back of your neck stand at attention. The reason I have always had that reaction, is why, yes, why, I want to know why you need to know so much about whatever the said subject is about me. Once I know your true motivation I will probably react either kindly or unkindly depending on the intent of the nosy person. The problem is that it is not always simple figuring out the "why" they are asking you stupid questions.

The best way I have found to deal with any nosy people . . . is to "set them up". Pick a subject that this person will go gaga over and make up a story. It can be creative to the max or just the opposite, boring enough to put a red bull addict to sleep. This way you can try to track what this person is doing with all that "information" they are getting from you. They may be a gossip, they may not have a life, they may secretly work for the FBI, and they may just want to stalk you because they have no friends. Or it could be something completely out of the ordinary. But usually you will start to get some feedback from other folks if this person is spreading it around. "Hey Bob, I hear you have 6 wives and 53 children, good for you".

A few years back when I knew my boss was reading my emails, I told my friend what I was up to and we concocted a doozy of a story about my personal life that went back and forth during my lunch hour, every day. I could always tell that she read them because of the look on her face and also her demeanor. We baited her! Now, she seemed like the type of person who was just bored with her life and that was innocent enough, but I never did fess up to doctoring my emails, serves her right for being nosy!