Dealing with the Passive-Aggressive Boss

Passive-aggressive behavior is a pattern of expressing feelings of anger or ill will through indirect, but unhelpful ways. People who are passive-aggressive may appear kind and loving, but they use nonverbal behavior to express their anger.

Passive-aggressive behavior in the workplace is one of the biggest impediments to organizational success. Most literature on the subject focus on the actions of subordinates, but passive-aggressive behavior by bosses is more common than we care to admit, and since the best predictor of organizational performance is the behavior of the worst member, when the boss is the culprit, an organization is in big trouble.

Following are ten things that passive-aggressive bosses do that disrupt the workplace, destroy employee morale, and just generally make an organization hell to work in:

Taking credit for the performance of talented workers : The passive-aggressive boss is a master of getting subordinates to perform well, and then hogging the show. People who have been victimized in this way quickly become demoralized, and this can cause them to reduce the quality of their performance in retaliation. Other than moving on to another organization, the most effective way to combat this is to ensure that others know what you do, and how you do it. It is especially important to let those above your boss in the chain of command know when you have done well, but you must be careful not to be seen as trying to undercut your boss, as this will hurt you in the long run.

Ignoring good employees for promotion and/or raises : Have you ever worked your buns off on a project, and when it came time for rewards, your boss gets his bonus, and you're forgotten? This is typical passive-aggressive behavior of many managers. Like having the boss hog the credit for your efforts, it can quickly kill your desire to come to work every day. Directly, but without rancor, confronting a boss who does this might work, unless he or she is a total heel. Ask your boss why you were overlooked during the last promotion cycle or awards presentation. Since many passive-aggressive people don't even recognize they are doing this, it might wake him up.

Subjecting employees to public sarcasm or ridicule : This is probably one of the most common forms of bad behavior, and can have employees heading for the door. It can sometimes be caused by feelings of inadequacy on the part of a boss, and be an effort to compensate. In one government organization, several years ago, one particularly egregious boss had a habit of interrupting subordinates in the middle of a briefing and rebuking them for 'mistakes' in their grammar. One particular astute employee found a way to deal with it that was extremely effective. He would have a dictionary and thesaurus handy whenever he briefed. When one day his boss stopped him in the middle of briefing visitors from higher headquarters and told him loudly that the word he'd just used was wrong, the employee quietly picked up the dictionary, found the word, and showed it to the boss. To soften the effect, he quietly said he was aware that the word was not one commonly used in government briefings, he felt it was most appropriate to express the concept the boss had told him to strive for in the briefing. The rest of the briefing proceeded without further interruption from the red-faced boss.

Using stalling tactics : Some bosses are just born procrastinators; others use the "I'll get back to you later" technique as a way of establishing dominance over employees. Either reason wastes employee time and causes deterioration of performance. The boss who takes forever to get back to you on your report of a project is saying he's more important than you, and he's causing you to kill time that could be put to better use. There are few effective ways to combat this behavior other than continuing to meet your deadlines, turning in the best work you are capable of, and moving on. Again, directly confronting a boss who does this will tell you quickly if he's just overburdened or being passive-aggressive.

Micromanagement : This happens in all kinds of organizations, but seems particularly prevalent in government. The manager who looks over your shoulder at every step in a job, who constantly makes minor, nitpicking changes in what you do, is sending a signal that she doesn't trust you, or that she is better at the job than you are. Asking for clear guidance at the start of a project, and making it clear that you know what you're doing might work. Let your boss know that her micromanaging is making it difficult for you to get the job done. Sometimes it works, but unfortunately, diehard micromanagers don't change too easily.

Sending Mixed Signals : This is probably one of the worst kind of bosses to work for. He tells you one thing, and then acts in a completely different way. We've all worked for this type. He tells you to take some time off, and then refuses to recommend you for promotion because you haven't shown sufficient dedication to the job. When you're faced with this kind of behavior, insist on having instructions put in writing, or make a memo for your files. Make sure someone else knows what you've been told, and when the aberrant behavior occurs, confront the boss with it. Ask clearly, but in a nonconfrontational manner, what you've done to displease him. Never allow a boss to get away with this kind of treatment.

Argumentative : The boss who disagrees with everything you say, or has complaints about everything you do can make you want to look for work elsewhere. Assuming that you're right in what you've said, when your boss disagrees, ask for specifics of his disagreement. By asking him where he thinks you went wrong, you put him on the spot to back up his behavior with a better alternative.

Resenting Suggestions : Being boss doesn't mean that you're always right, but there are people who believe this to be the case. The truly passive-aggressive boss wants employees to wait for instructions, and resents the employee who takes initiative. If you're confronted with a pattern of such behavior, ask for a meeting with your boss and try to reassure him that your suggestions are merely meant to assist him in doing his job. Your objective is to make him look good. Since many passive-aggressive people are also very ego-centric, this works in most cases. If you're working for a total socio-path, good luck. You might consider looking for work elsewhere.

Blaming Others : Passive-aggressive bosses are incapable of accepting responsibility for things that go wrong in the organization, and must find somewhere else to lay the blame. The boss who tells his people to do something, and then blames them when it goes wrong, is a common staple of movies about government or business bureaucracies, but this is not something made up by a Hollywood writer. They exist in greater numbers than you can imagine. Again, having clear documentation of what you've been assigned to do, and witnesses, is probably the best defense against this tactic.

Using People and then Stabbing them in the Back : In a military command in Korea, in the late 1970s, a colonel in charge of one of the offices was a classic example of this kind of behavior. He was in charge solely by virtue of his rank. The colonel was a poor writer, and because of a stutter, a lousy briefer. He was always late for work, absent for long periods throughout the day, and never gave clear instructions. Recognizing this, his deputy, a lieutenant colonel, pulled the rest of the office together, and made sure things were done properly and on time. The colonel knew what was happening, and throughout the year, heaped verbal praise on the 'outstanding' guys in the group. Then, at the end of the year, when it came time to do performance ratings, he proceeded to low rank every one of his subordinates, this, despite having been the recipient of an award for the section's outstanding performance for the year. Fortunately, most passive-aggressive people are closet bullies, and bullies are cowards at heart. When the deputy and the rest of the section confronted him on the contradiction in his ratings, he sulked, but changed them, giving everyone high marks.

Passive-aggressive behavior, along with bullying in the work place, can be a huge drain on good performance, and can cause an organization to fail if it is not confronted. When the behavior is emanating from the person in charge, the effect is even greater than when it's a junior member of the team. The good thing is, not all passive-aggressive people are aware of it, and when it's made known, will take steps to improve. The worst response to passive-aggressive behavior is to ignore it.

References:

http://www.passiveaggressiveworkplace.com

http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/fiore8.html

http://passiveaggressiveboss.com

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/passive-aggressive-behavior/AN01563

http://www.accg.net/passive_aggressive_behavior.htm

http://www.sciencedaily.com/articles/passive-aggressive-behavior.htm